Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML
Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML
Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML
Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML
Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML
Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML
Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
Guys can get stretch marks too you know.
PoodleJuice 7
Did they make you look like a tiger?
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Comments (50)
decoydream 4
A LOT of people have strech marks; Yours are still pink so you can use something to make them better :)
hazardmuffin 21
Most women get stretchmarks somewhere on their bodies at some point in their life. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If they're pink, that means they're still fairly new/unhealed. Try rubbing cocoa butter on them every day and it should help fade them if you don't wanna rock 'em :)
kahru1 9
i got my stretch marks from sitting on the toilet for an elongated period of time...on a regular basis.
loopsy_fml 14
I'm not sure if I want to know. I don't think so........
waynesmedley92 2
That's horrible. Try cocoa butter. That's supposedly helps get rid of stretch marks
nachi2013 4
It's a normal thing to have stretch marks and if a man has an issue with it he's a dick because regardless ALL woman get them sooner or later
sorrowsangel89 1
I woulda said "yeah! I got a tattoo of stretchy skin. You should get one when you grow into your own skin."
Doodleoodlebug 18
Bio oil works great on stretch marks and scars, even good old baby oil will help.
hig999 19
YDI, fatty.
jrock9093 18
Stretch marks only make you a tiger don't be ashamed
emmalou 19
Thinking you needed to prove anything was the first mistake