Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML
Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML
Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML
Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML
Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML
Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML
Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
Guys can get stretch marks too you know.
PoodleJuice 7
Did they make you look like a tiger?
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Comments (50)
BeforeItWasCool 12
Uh. How is "when my shirt came up" even remotely related to getting changed? You'd say "when I was getting changed". No one I know describes changing that way. I think the wording makes it obvious here. It's clear OP was stretching or the shirt didn't fit right.
ManInTheMachine 20
Well PenguinBitch, your name certainly suits you. And I'm not talking about being a flightless bird.
unknown_user5566 27
They must be cool looking stretch marks if they resemble a tattoo.
ICastillo 25
Ya Op should just tell them it is a tattoo.
xMidna 6
Someone saw mine and asked if I was in a car accident >.>
greenie213 23
Are you sure it isn't a tattoo? That was quite the party.
starbursty 0
I'm a skinny ass guy and super athletic yet even I have stretch marks!?! It happens to a lot of people OP don't worry about it (;
kristina1124 3
I'm skinny and I have stretch marks from bad elasticity in my skin. so it's not always from being fat people! it's embarrassing yes so I feel for ya!
tswizz 13
What are you, 12?
007type 26
There are all sorts of exercises for tightening of skin.
rebel_belle1974 5
that was rude of him. I hope he apologized.
RedPillSucks 33
I think he was just curious, not calling her out.
Spectre529 12
I'm sorry but what a snitch
ManInTheMachine 20
I don't think snitch is the word you're looking for.
Spectre529 12
Then what?..
ManInTheMachine 20
You're probably thinking of 'loud mouth', but even then, he was only asking about it. He isn't a snitch because he wasn't snitching on her. He was only asking a question.
ALlamaOnFire 20
I guess he could be called a snitch, if OP wasn't allowed to have a tattoo but she did and he called her out on purpose. On the other hand he could just be curious. You're both right:)
Spectre529 12
Thank you =p