Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BlackWolfVII 0
Well you know what they say about love. It's like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth. The situation is only slightly altered.
dickinabox 0
That's how you know he loves you!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
ZDrache 0
Sounds a lot like my Valentines day.
ammali 0
Aw man, that sucks. Kudos to you for being so sweet and letting him have a fun evening, though. I'd make him do something really nice for you to make up for it.
Chaith 16
He's not going to take you for granted any time soon. If you're still together after a night like that, I'd say you're both the better for it.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
Everytime I read things about American peoples "21st" I'm all like - what, why is this some magical age that everyone needs to mention. Then I remember.
ohhhhshizzz 0
#44, you arent funny. Dont quit your day job; please. #56 yeahhh we still gotta wait it out; but they may be changing it to 18! Itd be a lot smarter if there wasnt one. And I woulda kicked his drunk ass. But thats just grosssss.
fmworld_ 0
R. Kelly?
Megan_fml 0
HAHAHAHAHA awesome.
rawr_z 0
He's a pretty lucky guy to have someone like you to withstand that, lol.
Soso2BU 0
Lol...... I hope u're into golden shower ^^
duckpsy 2
marking his territory