Love, Gross, Insects and My ex: The Summoner

The Summoner

By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 05:02

Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 172

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Plagued

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 12:00

Today, I just moved into my second apartment after the first one was infested with fruit flies, which were coming out of cracks in the floor. We discovered they had tried to cover this fact up so we'd move in. Guess what this new one has? Bed bugs. I asked if there was a history of bug problems and they said no. Lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 111

Usually a bad omen

By Karen - 21/05/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 101

Bugging out

By Ernest - 30/11/2022 06:00

Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 281

Little *****

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, and every other weekend for the past 4 weeks, my boyfriend has made the 2 and a half hour drive to come stay with me. For some reason, every time he comes down, we see 1 or 2 cockroaches in my house. I'm at home most of the time, and I never see any cockroaches. I swear they're conspiring to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 17/06/2015 12:14

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 395

You deserved it 5 251

My little friends

By Annonymous - 18/10/2012 14:41 - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 1 953

By WhyGodWhy - 18/10/2016 06:33 - United States - Addison

Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 677

You deserved it 822

**** me, I guess

By Anonymous - 18/08/2024 18:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, after months of my girlfriend crying about cockroaches, I finally called and paid for an exterminator. Now she's furious at me for "making decisions for her" and she keeps pointing out that, since she owns the house, what I did was technically illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 125

By wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 236

You deserved it 4 686

By idonthavelice - 28/02/2010 13:44 - China

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 097

You deserved it 2 412

tounces7 27

Monday 14 September 2020 7:30

Rather depends on how much access he had to your apartment alone and/or if you had the locks changed after breaking up.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 14 September 2020 5:55

Yes. The roaches heard you were single and decided to make their move on you. They have lots of confidence considering how short they are. They might listen to Tom Cruise motivational tapes.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 14 September 2020 5:55

Yes. The roaches heard you were single and decided to make their move on you. They have lots of confidence considering how short they are. They might listen to Tom Cruise motivational tapes.

tounces7 27

Monday 14 September 2020 7:30

Rather depends on how much access he had to your apartment alone and/or if you had the locks changed after breaking up.

JasonThorn 20

Tuesday 15 September 2020 3:18

Go to Amazon for "Advion Syngenta Cockroach Gel Bait" and BUY IT. I had an infestation of roaches I brought from my apartment, got this stuff. Killed them all, haven't seen one since. You'll be sweeping up/vacuuming up dead roaches for a few days, but keep using it.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 15 September 2020 3:36

Yes. She left, and your powers as an entomancer were awakened at the same time. By the way... what was your secret before the roaches came calling? Five years with no bugs? I get like a dozen creepy crawlies in my place as soon as I open a window.