Sex Intimacy Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna...

Anonymous - 29/08/2012 16:38 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

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Technique

Anonymous - 12/07/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

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Steamy

DreeStahr - - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

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bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

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LonelyShowers - 04/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Mission Hills

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

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It's a witch!

umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

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BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

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-___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

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sly - 25/10/2010 22:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

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that girl - 08/04/2014 23:06 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

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DragonzCreator 3

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:51

It just goes to show, guys aren't always thinking about sex.

Psych101 9

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:51

Hopefully you learned something. Both about water displacement and how literal your boyfriend is.

supportcommand 17

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:41

Everybody should know about water displacement. What if your on a small boat and a fattie is going to get on too? You'll be the wise one that says "wait, if you get on we'll displace too much water and sink". Everyone will praise you.

supportcommand 17

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:36

Oops. * you're.

cameronman9 2

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:58

Saw that one coming

Axipiter 24

Thursday 30 August 2012 4:08

Or didn't see anything coming?

SweetAsHell 9

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:20

*sigh* Not every guy who likes science is like Sheldon from BBT. Broaden your horizon of characters, my kittens.

justanotherhuman 21

Thursday 30 August 2012 17:48

^ true. The rest of us are the CSI/NCIS crew; hotties using science to right wrongs.

winnerme123 8

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:25

Can I come?

astronomydomine 2

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:33

You should have taken off your shirt, dunked your boobs in the bath and asked, "how much water do my boobs displace?" He would have asked you to marry him right then and there!