Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
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Top comments
DragonzCreator 3
It just goes to show, guys aren't always thinking about sex.
Psych101 9
Hopefully you learned something. Both about water displacement and how literal your boyfriend is.
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Comments (179)
wellthatsukx 0
That, is hilarious.
jarockstar27 10
Wow your boyfriend should be on the big bang theory, he makes those guys look super cool....i love the show but seriously dude needs a life...
awkward_gothlady 32
It's not all about sex, but acting like you want sex and then getting annoyed at your partner for wanting it isn't very nice. If she said "I need your body right now," what's the guy supposed to think. And as for this FML, I would have thought the same thing if I'd been the girl, unless maybe my BF had a history of being the super nerdy type. But then I would have thought it was just a super nerdy sex reference.
limitedition 25
Very Sheldon cooper-ish!
KaelaKhaotic 5
Awkward humping day. O_O
bmw791797 2
That sounds like something i would do i dont see why that is so bad
Corrupt_waffles 13
ASSASSINS CREED! XD and yeah. It's not always about sex guys. Even though you all wish it was.
fordneagles 34
Hey, that's important to know! Maybe if you spent more time learning instead of thinking about sex, you could avoid these awkward situations :P all hail Sheldon Cooper :D
smileycupcake62 4
...is he sheldon cooper?
Dracoboxer357 36
20- Annnnnnd that's why Noor's on my list of favourite commenters. ;P