Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DragonzCreator 3
It just goes to show, guys aren't always thinking about sex.
Psych101 9
Hopefully you learned something. Both about water displacement and how literal your boyfriend is.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
AholeCop 11
I like to imagine their relationship is filled with sexual innuendos that always pan out to be the literal meaning. "Wanna come over and..lay some carpet? After that maybe polish my pole?" *Cut scene to a disappointed OP on her hands and knees hammering carpet to the floor*
mbuck87 19
Haha that actually happened on the movie baseketball
Meme1988 18
Geeks are always cute.
the_true_batman 10
Your boyfriend sounds awesome. I wish I had a girlfriend who was excited about conducting experiments with me. A girlfriend with a healthy interest in sex is a must, but that is easy to find. A girlfriend with a healthy interest in science is a huge bonus, and much harder to find.
MainPrism 16
Someones been on youtube watching old Bill Nye the Science Guy episodes...
DerMarktradikale 13
Well, you got what your bf said you would get. So, why the FML?
Ambi_Sinistrous 5
I mean, -I- think your boyfriend is awesome for doing that, although I really don't see how learning about water displacement and having sexy funtimes in the bath are mutually exclusive...
voiceofreason83 1
That sounds like something I'd do
Sigebrycht 1
Hooray physics!
IAmYourLeader_64 0
hahaha! no **** for you!
ScaryLullaby 10
At least you learned something.