Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
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Top comments
DragonzCreator 3
It just goes to show, guys aren't always thinking about sex.
Psych101 9
Hopefully you learned something. Both about water displacement and how literal your boyfriend is.
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Comments (179)
khildebrand2294 9
Science!
Emma_OBrien_ 1
Today, I was at cheer practice, when these really hot guys were walking by I tried to do an awesome stunt, and the big finale was me landing on my butt. Hard. They won't ever talk to me now... FML
Bloobloke 12
They probably won't talk to you because you try too hard to put the attention on yourself and are a fool.
LadyJoker21 0
Oh how I love taking a bath with my boo and having some fun so this op actually made me feel bad 4 u I agree ur life sucks
Ambience138 11
Your "boo"? are you dating a ghost by chance?
datguy5 13
That sounds like something I would do.
lavantant 3
Tr0ll!!
MissD62012 0
I guess u can never make assumptions about him
RKD 23
Wow! You should ask him if he wants to learn about Douche Displacement theory,,,,and threaten to dump him!
XeeLynn 5
That's soo funny! Did he reward you for learning at least? (;
TonyRuckus 5
wow what a clown ur bf is
snowypaws 7
That is something my boyfriend would do... -.-