Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted, "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
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Top comments
jebron 13
Ah, kindergarten relationship problems
MetallicSkeleton 12
That was snot very expected
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Comments (90)
Bliepje 22
whahaha that made me laugh. Im expecting he was joking and it is kinda cute if u think about it. means u guys are tight and he feels comfortable around u.
tin_cup 27
This has to be one of the funniest, off the wall FML. Definitely going into my favorites!
xxxxqazwsxedc1 8
Run. Run far away as you can. That shit is not acceptable.
sammiaaron 16
LOL omg. nooo. tell him no.
amber3120 15
Be glad it was your nose. My boyfriend likes to be an a-hole and stick it in my mouth when im off guard.
John_in_Oz 12
That's not your boy-friend, that's your abuser.
ProfessorMctitie 20
No, thats just gross..
Lovely_lynx_22 5
That's absolutely revolting. Not even a 3 year old should think that's okay. If my boyfriend ever did that he'd get puked on, smacked really hard and then dumped.
EarlFug 19
Well you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. Wait, this a whole other level.
pjsr 32
Sounds like you need 'protection' against his seed - like staying far far away!
phantomlady 4
that is funny. and definitely something my husband would do to me! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a weird one!
simply_meeeee 26
I cringed from start to finish
Jets4Life89 4
If you stay with him after that you are stupid.