Today, my boyfriend of 4 years still can't get it that dry humping me and saying, "But I'm horny" in a goofy voice isn't a turn on. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Humping
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Protip
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Wet noodle
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Fun fun fun
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Love language
Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML
Mr Selfish
Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML
Turn me on
Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML
Top comments
Venomousfantum 1
Quick question. Where in the world did he get that idea? Funny thing sure but definitely weird.
JustRidingMyBike 5
You can communicate with him and let him know which ways you would like to be told "I'm horny" and what may turn you on better. It would be a better solution than simply waiting for him to figure it out. I had this chat with my girlfriend years ago and it helped us get on the same page for sex.
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Comments (35)
Sarah Cummins 13
My husband?