Today, my boyfriend of 4 years still can't get it that dry humping me and saying, "But I'm horny" in a goofy voice isn't a turn on. FML
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Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML
Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML
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Top comments
Venomousfantum 1
Quick question. Where in the world did he get that idea? Funny thing sure but definitely weird.
JustRidingMyBike 5
You can communicate with him and let him know which ways you would like to be told "I'm horny" and what may turn you on better. It would be a better solution than simply waiting for him to figure it out. I had this chat with my girlfriend years ago and it helped us get on the same page for sex.
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Comments (35)
r1has 28
This sounds like the beginning of a bad chick flick TBH. But hopefully he's better at other things
demix_fml 32
I'm glad I'm not the only one this happens too, it sucks. I feel for you OP.
megsterr413 20
my husband is like this as well. the feels man the feels
batmanda0 0
men just do that. my husband still does it. not exactly a turn on
sweetpotato301 7
I've personally never been with a man who does that
Tripartita 44
I've never done that myself, but I'm not terribly manly…
False_Stupidity 41
The big question here is have you, in the last four years, actually told him that those actions are not a turn on, rather than assuming that he will eventually get it? If not then it's a big YDI because men are not mind readers and sometimes we need to be told things outright, not hinted at or implied, but straight up. If you have told him this on at least one occasion then he's a loser and I don't know why your still with the guy.
Ashael 5
I think that her being as cold as ice should be a big enough hint that his approach isn't effective. If he can't deduce that after four years, I'd recommend changing the brains.
WeirdUS 29
Yet the men aren't mind readers argument really doesn't work too well anymore men have to learn to pick up on basic social cues. If you need everything spelled out for you that's on you sunshine.
chirstinap325 23
I guess I've been doing things wrong... Definitely gives me some answers.
tapdancecolumbia 14
If it's infrequent and he's just being goofy and sweet, then you need to lighten up. If he does this every single time after you've already told him it annoys you, then you have a case. If he does this every single time and you haven't said anything about it, then you really should let him know. Not enough info to rate this one.
LennyComa 39
Bet it works better than the "your getting pumped when we get home" I tried with my fiancée a few years ago
RinoaHeartilly 36
"Your getting pumped" sounds A LOT better to me. Whinny/goofy voices are a major turn off for some people.
bandeek 30
lol. i do this to my boyfriend. but we think he's asexual, so it doesn't work.
MsBluntBunny 5
<p>Same, My man does this. </p>
Angel Pennell 5
I know the feels..