By miss_strauss - United States - Conroe
Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML
miss_strauss tells us more :
OP here. I had cooked a dinner in a sort of celebration of our first night living together, and he offered to do the dishes afterwards. I happily agreed and asked him to leave the skillet for me because it requires extra TLC. When I woke up and found it this morning, I went to work making sure there wasn't too much damage done, and he was horrified when realized what he did. I couldn't be mad at him, because he was only trying to help. Also, for those wondering about why I've kept a skillet for this long. I'm only 23, but it was my grandmothers and then my dad inherited it when she passed away. He passed it on to me when I went to college and got my own apartment. Cast iron, if maintained and loved properly, can be the best tool of a good kitchen and can last forever. It's really not strange to small town southerners to have cast iron pans that are older than them:P
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By  Steffi3  |  40

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway


Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  aecribb  |  14

16, a lot of guys do. I almost always do the dishes and clean our cats' litter box and I don't expect anything for doing it, it's just something that, if done every couple of days, isn't that much hassle and doesn't take much time. My wife tells me that she appreciates it occasionally, but I certainly don't expect anything.

  noisyboy4000  |  23

Yo chill #16. This has nothing to do with gender roles lol the point was that he should be given some sort of credit for trying to help out around the house, not because he's a man doing chores


Why in the world would it be the responsibility of the person that owns the dishes??? If you are out of them, then that person was nice enough to let you use them. With that kind of attitude you won't be eating off of their dishes much longer lol


Yo #110, if you don't think it has anything to do with gender roles it's because you're blind to it. If there were no gender roles involved then no one would be suggesting that anyone get any particular credit for doing chores because doing one's half of the chores would be the default position- no one gets any particular credit for doing the default action. But since it's unusual for men to do chores, someone always suggests congratulating them for it whereas if a woman does chores no one notices or congratulates her because she's just expected to do them- she's doing the default. Even your language use makes this evident. The man is "trying to help out around the house" in your words. He isn't just doing his work, he's "helping." Helping who? The woman who's expected to invisibly do all the chores. And we're supposed to give him credit for not just leaving her to do all the work. Like him not doing any housework is the default option. In a world with gender equality, the default option would be each partner doing half the chores. So yeah, there are definitely gender roles at play in suggesting that a man get credit for doing basic chores.

  concorde_fml  |  6

NO! First, dishes in soapy water are not done. I know this because my wife told me. Second, cast iron does NOT sit in soap. my wife now knows this because I told her.

By  VashSN17  |  10

It's okay.. Learn to forgive I guess.. Moving in can be a fun thing but you guys should learn to cope with each other.
Not saying it's okay for him not to know though.. Hope you work things out :)

  Bloodmorphed  |  7

that's all well and good for you. however i was never taught that. i did the same thing now i know not to. on top of that because of my mistake i learned how to season one myself. your coming ups are not the same as someone else's assuming so is very closed minded. besides that's something that isn't common sense nor not everyone knows what the heck a seasoned cast iron skillet is. it is now my favorite thing to cook in though.

  zeffra13  |  31

Iron rusts. What adult doesn't know not to leave metal sitting in water?

  andits  |  21

Pfft I knew that. Lol I guess it's just not the first thing on my mind. I'm sure many mistakes have been made by numerous people due to that.

  fohfuucba  |  21

It's perfectly clean to use cast iron pots and pans. Seasoning is when oil polymerises onto the cookware, like a plastic, which gives it a non-stick coating, it's not just greasy. It's hygenic because you can use boiling water and salt to soften and scrub stuck-on food, and it's sterilised when heated to 100°C.

  sturschaedel  |  27

We don't use cast iron because of the cleaning issues. I'm a vegetarian, my husband and kids are not. I don't want to have cookware that has meaty fat burned into it. I buy the housewares. We have emailed pans and pots, teflon coated. all perfectly washable.

  amb27  |  7

I wouldn't even think about that. My parents never have used any iron pans and I don't even know what a skillet is (don't think we use them in England or we don't call them that). Everything my family uses doesn't rust. (I'm 18 and live at home whilst at university, not the biggest domestic goddess)

  ToyBonnieBBHMM  |  12

The thing that's wrong with that is you CAN'T wash it with soap and water. It ruins the iron and makes it unusable. The way to wash it is with cold water and a LITTLE bit of salt.

  BrotherPhil  |  32

A skillet is a a heavy frying pan, generally cast iron, and available in various sizes. They'really generally better than a standard frying pan for most things, and also handy for use against burglars.

  novamomma  |  2

the reason it'd wrong is cause if you have a well seasoned cast iron skillet/pan the soapy water can mess up the flavors when you cook with it I found out the hard way


The reason is because when using a cast iron pan you only want to rinse it out with water because the metal traps oils and flavors therefore making it non stick and giving food great flavor

  LavenderCrow  |  12

I think you mean Rapunzel...

  LostInTheZone11  |  28

Either one works. Rapunzel, Eugene, and one of the tavern thugs all used a frying pan to hit at least one person.

  OnlyNeko  |  13

I'm thinking it's safe to assume that NO one gets this reference, but I think it's funny as HELL hahaha for those that Mau have missed it, it from the animated movie "Tangled"

  okaydisarray  |  17

yeah, 142. no one understood it...except the people who commented before you, those who thumbed the comment up or down and the many, many people who saw the movie and immediately recognized the name...

By  Snuffleupaguss  |  15

Cast iron dishes can be a pain in the ass for that reason, one silly mistake and years of seasoning and perfecting is gone. All you can do is tell him not to again because it's not like he did it on purpose.

By  qjdb  |  8

A perfectly seasoned CI skillet should never see soap.

Oh well, if he managed to kill it, you have a good reason to re-season it, and involve him in the process.

By  marcranger  |  28

I'm not exactly a master chef, so I had to turn to Google to figure what your boyfriend did wrong. That sucks, but I know I might've done the same thing...if I could be bothered to wash any dishes by hand!