Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? My Australian friend sent me a message saying I'd left my thongs at his house. My boyfriend still refuses to believe that they call flip-flops thongs in Australia. FML
Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, I figured out my boyfriend gets out of jail in less than six months. First off, I have a boyfriend in jail. Second, I also realized I'd much prefer he stay in than get out. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Haha, well, now you know that it was called a penal colony because it was penis shaped.
sumocj 14
Did you two discuss the Virgin Islands?
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Comments (16)
Ed Munson 14
I had to check both, because your life sucks because you were gullible enough...to dserve it!
Bubbilility 27
In my defense, he was studying the origin of the English language and is studying linguistics. I argued for an hour that it wasn't, but he was so convincing, keeping a straight face and using Greek and Latin terms that he claimed 'backed it up'. I swear his best stat is charisma. He could take something out of your hands and convince you you put it down somewhere else. I have learned why no one trusts him when he plays games with them anymore.
Tim Carver 9
You don't have a phone or anything to check