Love: Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone... - FML

By hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 235

You deserved it 58 613

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 12:07 - Israel - Ramat Hasharon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 151

You deserved it 8 746

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 537

You deserved it 5 036

Wakey wakey

By DanJames24 - 24/05/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Southsea

Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 149

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 379

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 613

You deserved it 43 639

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 193

You deserved it 3 099

By Ignorant - 07/10/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 974

You deserved it 885

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 21:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 183

You deserved it 3 456

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 108

You deserved it 29 771

Some people just don't like surprises

By alone and horny - 20/06/2020 20:01

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 1 708

Next

Top comments

xXxRandiexXx 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 13:32

I would dump him. he just left you there!!!

Pewsily 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 14:19

Hahaha, this made my day!

Comments

MCart_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 19:16

Safety releases only come on cheap imitation cuffs, and take most of the excitement out of it... real cuffs are really easy to get from police supply outlets and totally legal to own.. in the US at least.

fml20 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 22:35

sounds fake

ApolloIce 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 9:43

Dump the sob. He cares more for his ass than yours.

it_kinda_sucks16 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 22:31

wow....i'm sorry that sounds ******* hilarious! but was the firefighter hot at least?

flow_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 1:58

That is one of the funniest things ive ever heard. but hey could be worse...... somehow

maiden_girl 5

Sunday 15 February 2009 7:26

He didn't even try to cover you up? He just left?? Wow... I find this funny but also sad. You should dump him asap... if it were a real fire you wouldn't have survived!

Mbpiratedude 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 10:48

So funny! But if this is true, I'm horribly sorry.

runmymouth 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:36

Holy ******* crap, are you serious?!

necomni 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 5:15

What the HELL? He just left you like that? He's truly a compassionate one!

Eir_fml 1

Friday 20 February 2009 2:50

anyone saying to put clothes back on her is a tard. You can't do that when a part (like arms) are attached to the bed. Not saying anything about what he should have done though. Everyone else did.

AnonymousUser42 7

Wednesday 13 January 2016 19:26

He could have put a blanket over her to cover everything

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You deserved it 78

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I agree, your life sucks 472

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I agree, your life sucks 25 884

You deserved it 33 964

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I agree, your life sucks 31 793

You deserved it 2 681

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I agree, your life sucks 8 657

You deserved it 977

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 487

You deserved it 26 744

Today, I got a song stuck in my head and couldn't stop humming it, even during an important meeting. I didn't realise I was doing it until my boss stopped talking, looked at me, and said, "You OK over there Jim Morrison?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 703

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 5 479