Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Bite his fingers off.
fountaindn4 0
should have shoved a carrot down his throat after the first time
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Comments (103)
Dez31396 0
haha my horse bit my fingers one time... she also bite small children
vi3tno_romeo 5
oh...so he "pintch" as an act in self defence?? damnn....I'm sure u can count on him to protect u...ahem
eftup 9
DOUBLE TAP FTW!
rawrzy 0
I've actually had a horse chewing on my finger once. It was painful but its teeth were too dull to do any real damage.
ReynshineCutting 10
Then you've never had a horse actually bite you. They can bite your fingers off without even trying. They can make you bleed so easily wherever they bite you. You can have bruises for weeks or scars forever. Trust me. I have some.
Prankster7o7 5
Yeah, horse bites suck. One time I was feeding a horse and I finished putting the hay down for him, and so he finished eating the hay and so he licked my hand a couple of times and then just chomped down on my hand. Hurt like none other.
BigCizzle 0
Hahahaha lol thats funny
paprikacha 9
Reminds me of the time my ex kicked me in his sleep while dreaming that a giant teddy bear was trying to kill him. :D
ihasbrains 10
Why the **** would you punch a horse in the neck? That doesn't do shit, you gotta smack it on the nose or pinch its neck.
minlip 0
@#64 in dreams you cant realy control what you do and nothing makes sence
CarleeBugg123 5
I would have hit him back... or drew all over his face. Mwuahahaha! >:)
monkeebalz 0
would that be a horse punch vs. donkey punch?