Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML
Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me an engagement ring. It turned out to be the wrong size and we had to return it, since the store said it couldn't be re-sized. As we headed home, I felt guilty, so I turned to him and apologized. His response? "It's OK honey, I didn't really want to marry you that much anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
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Top comments
KaylaKiwified 0
I'm going to say you're incredibly stupid here, and YDI. And HDI, too. He should've remembered something like that, and maybe put it in something you aren't allergic to, like roses, or something. And why didn't you just throw it in the trash? Do you always throw things down the garbage disposal first?
too_much_fun 0
But still...why would he hide the ring in something he knew you were allergic to?
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Comments (373)
xOpheliacx 0
Unless it's something that comes up a lot, something that he constantly forgets, then YDI, big time.
perdix 31
You need to dump that pretentious, homicidal maniac right away! First, he tries to kill you with deadly chocolate. Then, he tries to break your teeth by getting a co-conspirator to hide the hardest substance in the world in said poison candy. Finally, he is destroying your home by getting you to throw the poisoned, contaminated candy in the disposal. Run, don't walk, RUN! He's out to kill you!
Witchcraft_fml 5
(`o`)/
TenebrificTurtle 0
OMG it makes sense now. I thought OP was being dramatic much but no... she is being targeted by chocoterrorists.
perdix 31
I'm glad SOMEONE caught on! To protect those allergic to chocolate from the chocoterrorists, we who can stomach the stuff have to eat it all up to deprive those maniacs of their weapon of choice. I'll go on a raid of Godiva and you attack Ghirardelli. Report back tomorrow.
GreenAlbatross 3
You are an amazing person. I'm allergic, but I'll coordinate the attack on Scharffenberger (sp?).
TenebrificTurtle 0
I have come back from my raid on the factory. I have succeeded in eating all the chocolate. They threatened to make more. Will go back tomorrow.
GreenAlbatross 3
OH TEH NOES!! The Mars candy company is contacting their home base on Mars! We have to stop them!
TenebrificTurtle 0
Oh no! We have to stop them. If they get to Mars they will hoard the chocolate and create, Osama Binge Chocolate. He will come to earth and destroy all the snickerdoodles. We must destroy him, consume the evil. We can take my spaceship if you want, stop by Venus and get a smoothie?
GreenAlbatross 3
Dude, totally. Venutian Jamba Juice is awesome.
TenebrificTurtle 0
Cool. Also... wear sweatpants, we need a big elastic waistline for this sort of work. We might have to join the gym when we return... Also. Bring cute guys. We need cute guys to piss us off so we are inspired to eat chocolate.
GreenAlbatross 3
Umm, I can't do much with the chocolate eating, I'm allergic. But I can recruit a munching militia and make things like cake, fondue and brownies out of the chocolate.
TenebrificTurtle 0
Okay, you shall be our Choco-coordinator. You shall keep us up to date with the building of the great wall of chocolate. If we dine, we dine in Hershey! "Remember us." As simple an order as a king can give. "Remember why we died." For he did not wish tribute, nor song, nor monuments nor poems of war and valor. His wish was simple. "Remember us," he said to me. That was his hope, should any free soul come across that place, in all the countless centuries yet to be. May all our voices whisper to you from the ageless stones, "Go tell the world, passerby, that here by chocolate law, we lie."
GreenAlbatross 3
You are an epic person. I salute ye.
TenebrificTurtle 0
300 is exactly like going into space to fight Choco-terrorists. It thought it was an apt connection. *Takes bow*
GreenAlbatross 3
You win 10 internets.
TenebrificTurtle 0
Wow ten, don't know what to do with those. Perhaps I will breed them like spiders... this is the webs right? Or do they still live in tubes? LOL Back to the mission... i have contracted chocoterroristicsyndromicconstipation adhd from all the chocolate. I need... MORE CHOCOLATE BUNNIES> help me...
GreenAlbatross 3
IT'S OK! The medics are coming! They've got the milk truck and we'll have you right as rain in no time! I won't let you die of toxichocoshock!
TenebrificTurtle 0
Thank you, the milk has made me strong. Does a body intent on battle good. This is Hershey, we shall fight again. Let us harvest the bunnies and use their powers for our own evil... I mean righteous chocolate war.
GreenAlbatross 3
Aye sir! I'll go warm up the mixer and ready the cake batter for the chocolate!
TenebrificTurtle 0
Green you make me happy, YOU understand. I feel like Op does not understand how pervasive these chocoterrorists are. Her boyfriend has been turned to the dark chocolate side, a marriage to him would be a marriage to the Hershey Cult. I am proud of her for turning to the disposal, for that is what we must do, digest the chocolate and get rid of the evidence. Never again, I say, never again.
GreenAlbatross 3
The battle now is won, but we must muster our forces in greater numbers for the holiday season! Halloween! Christmas! New Years! and the deadliest of them all......VALENTINE'S DAY! Time is running short and we must prepare soon!
TenebrificTurtle 0
Those damn chocolate cherubs, we must destroy their arrows of chocolately goodness. To the gym, to slim down before the great battle, we will not let them think they have fattened us and deadened our senses... though, everything tastes like chocolate now.
oystercultviking 0
YDI for being such a delightful girlfriend.
sodahhhr 0
You kick my dog
HotSauce_fml 0
Bitch.
alorra 0
wow way to overreact you crazy mofo. the fact he forgot you were allergic doesn't mean you have to chuck such a massive hissy fit. people forget. you didn't, so it's not like you would've eaten it and died. you DEFINITELY deserve it and i hope he dumps your ass and realizes how psychotic you are.
fretforyerlatte 0
kind of not a good idea to put a ring in chocolate in the first place. she'd probably break a tooth..and then there would be chocolate embedded in all the crevices of the ring. also i'm wondering, garbage disposals don't turn on automatically, why didn't he say something between the time she threw it in and flipped the switch?
Emrysa 1
This Although, there is a chance he was so stunned by her psychotic reaction that she flipped it on and tossed before he realized what she was doing.
IceCream53423 0
who puts chocolate in a garbage disposal? there's this thing called a garbage can...
Anti_Quark 0
Wow, I hate how everyone is saying "OMG HE SHOULDA KNOWNZ@!!111eleven!@@". Honestly, proposing is so hard to do. You have to think of something classy, and creative and spend a **** load of money on it. It is nothing easy to do, since you want it to be so good that there is no way you can get turned down. When the poor guy was brainstorming ideas and failing he probably got this wonderful idea and did it without thinking of allergies. Hell I don't even know what I'm allergic to myself. YDI.
I_am_stupid_also 6
You don't get it. It isn't a contest. The idea is to move to the next step in a relationship, mutually. It's a big step, so make it nice, but that's all that matters. If the girl demands more than that, dump her.
elliekinslurvsya 0
my god that's pathetic. you could have just reminded him, some people don't remember these things. it doesn't mean he doesn't care. but instead you went and acted like a total bitch and freaked out...i can't stand people like you, you make the rest of us girls look pathetic!