Just_Me_88
United States
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Paris, France
Weasley little liar dude
Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
Anonymous
Kinda expected
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Nanabanana1
United States
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
pabj208
United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Anonymous
Newport News, United States
Classic
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
mollyeyers
United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML
TanjinaRubbaiyat
Bangladesh
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
yeah
United States
Nightmare
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. In Walmart. Over the loudspeaker. FML
rotezora
Basel, Switzerland
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
hairy
Serbia
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML
Top comments
dedd4 0
Yep, we are.
Thinker1030 0
They made him an offer he couldn't refuse
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Comments (101)
kshafer08 7
There out to get me too, but you don't see me breaking any hearts.
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
Your pretty lucky OP they could drive by his house tonite and gun the place up. You might ne killed him leaving you is really the best thing keeping you safe.
DocBastard 40
Isn't he supposed to go see a guy in the back room of a restaurant and pick up 96 guns and then kill them one by one only to be kidnapped but then escape and have a final confrontation the the mob boss when he kills him, but not before saying something clever like "Game over, ************..."?
Dustin_Pedobear 9
Although completely unrelated to anything on this post, I started reading your blog yesterday Doc. I thought I had seen the apex of human stupidity, but your blog both made me laugh and sank my hope for the human race.
DocBastard 40
Thanks, Dustin. I'm glad I was able to kill your hope for mankind. No, wait...
Slimshots 8
If he wants to be a total badass, he'll scream "Yipee ki yay, ************!"
Dustin_Pedobear 9
Wow, I just realized how insulting my comment seemed. What I meant was the people in yourblog sank my hopes.
Enslaved 38
Maybe it's a good thing to not be part of that world. Watch "Good Fellas" and see if that's how you want to live. They'll shoot you with a smile on their face.
snowman6 4
The Mafia does NOT exist.
Ferretface 13
That's what we want you to think.
knaar_227 1
a lot of things exist that you are not aware of.
KiddNYC1O 22
Stronzo.
PaigeySlade 7
You don't exist
rpc3029 0
And niether does you having a chance with a girl.-rObBiE
mms12x 0
Idiot yes, they acctually do
Devin91 20
Happy Valentines Day.
iloveweed69 7
nice bod bro
bigtaytay 13
If you get a fish wrapped up in paper in the mail, then you'll feel really bad
bertoelmexicano 6
Mexican Mafia? Russian Mafia? Italian Mafia? Or the CIA?
thisisafunnyname 12
Help the mafia
Branflakes78 13
Funniest Profile Picture on here!!