Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been unemployed for over six months. He has applied EVERYWHERE with no luck, but he also has the opportunity to start his own business. Instead, he just spends his time sitting in front of the TV all day long. I'm starting to believe he is not a driven man, and I hate that. FML
Today, the guy I've been dating said we couldn't see each other anymore because he needed to focus on his career. He's unemployed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
Today, my husband decided he was finally going to quit his job. We literally bought a house last week. His job is/was easy, with pay way above his qualifications. After we'd talked about it FOR THE 50TH TIME, he did the opposite and texted the dept. head that he hates the company and wants to be part time at most. FML
Today, my boyfriend still won't get a job, because he's convinced he's going to make millions inventing and selling carbonated ketchup. FML
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Top comments
KiwiKitten 2
This is a man with his future perfectly laid out.
The_Hitdude 12
Why not do both? Then he can hide his pot in the drywall. It's a win win! :D
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Comments (226)
redtigerlily 5
Sometimes I have plans to sell weed. Just like Nancy.
Calyx_fml 22
If he lives in a medical marijuana state and can get a script i'd say go for it. Here in seattle marijuana "crimes" are by law the lowest possible police priority. People smoke right on the sidewalk. Don't try that in Texas
adamjohnson 5
Pot=bad
ImSoEffedUp 10
He'd better choose drywall.... Drug dealing ain't for everybody....
perdix 31
Go with the pot -- you make your customers happy! With the drywall, your customer is a greedy contractor who needs you to finish quick and get the **** out of there. The only attention you get is if you screw it up terribly. Potheads name their kids and their dogs after their dealers.
twisted_cherub 14
Naming the kid and the dog after a dealer? But then they'll both have the same name. I can't be calling the kid and have the dog come running in. That would freak me the f*ck out.
perdix 31
It would be very convenient. At first, dogs are smarter than babies, so the dumb kid can learn from the dog to go to you whenever you call his name. Then, the kid can learn that the most important thing is making you happy. It's a great plan!
twisted_cherub 14
Hmm. Maybe I should consider it. Kids named Master Chief and Kelly? I think so.
Marley_Dnt_Shoot 3
Ah I smell a TV crossover; weeds meets home improvement lool
BenderJ_fml 5
"High with Holmes"!
j_cat187 20
Woah dude, you have a kitchen??
alliemarie1990 10
Dump him.
forzadude420 0
hanging dry wall can be dangerous with all those tools id sell pot if i were him
Chaith 16
Hate to enforce the stereotype .. but I have not met a drywall guy who didn't roll one everyday. This fml is legit.
voiceofreason2 0
Ex boyfriend?