Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty,...

By hopeless-.- - 29/08/2011 15:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said, "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said, "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 253

You deserved it 7 514

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Same thing different taste

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 3 444

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 537

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 254

By Andrew - 12/10/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 361

You deserved it 13 396

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 388

You deserved it 6 168

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 883

You deserved it 6 666

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 25 788

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 8 650

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 499

You deserved it 8 544

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 999

You deserved it 7 292

talkstoomuch 8

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

That is just nasty.

perdix 29

Monday 29 August 2011 19:00

Ball sweat? Was he trying to kiss you with his face or Jeffrey Jr's?

Comments

BikeAllDay818 6

Tuesday 30 August 2011 12:49

Hahaha I always mess with my gf like he did to you OP xD

jamieexo 2

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:32

Ok now that's just gross.

joeyteller 1

Tuesday 30 August 2011 17:00

Ball sweat is the worst too!!!! lol there isn't sweat that smells any worse than ball sweat, armpit sweat, and butt sweat... Lol

Kingbreezy04 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:27

Ball sweat smell can wake the dead

jeluc01226 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:42

Well did you ??

justanotherhuman 21

Saturday 3 September 2011 23:57

lol, classy. FYL, OP... FYL.

LuvTiffy143 0

Monday 5 September 2011 15:23

lol this is funny cuz my bf would say something stupid jst like this xD

iiEnjoyTurtles 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:40

Ballsoup.. Yum..

farahg3 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 3:26

Ahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha

wydner31 0

Monday 19 September 2011 8:32

boys will be boys.

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The Top

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 961

You deserved it 2 546

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turns out I have wood rot, and my entire window fell out. FML

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You deserved it 4 792

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 060

You deserved it 5 744

Today, I had to cancel my $15,000 wedding and send a mass e-mail to 90 guests that there won’t be a wedding. My now-ex fiance got fired from his job. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, if it wasn’t for the fact he got his colleague pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 308

You deserved it 180

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 252

You deserved it 5 978

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 782

Same thing different taste

Steamy

Crotch rot of the mouth

To each his own

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