Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family, "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML
Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML
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Top comments
Florence_ 0
If there was a 'Facepalm' button, now would be the time to use it.
MuchDance90s 0
mine are like that, too but with layers of fat on top
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Comments (321)
stevenmx86 8
Disconect, it's my understanding there's actually an infinite amount of holes and the theory is that everything is actually happening at the same time in different holes. Or was that theory about universes?
stevenmx86 8
And also, while I'm adding to my own comments, ayame, I AM sorry to hear about your mother. I wish people didn't have to die. I do, however, stand by the statement that you're an ass.
DocBastard 40
Steven, I'm going to assume you're a teenager, which is the only logical reason for your inane comments. Listen closely - the second hole that everyone was talking about was NOT the anus, it was the urethra. That's where urine comes out. Clear?
jade_lyn 0
didn't he ever have sex ed? they tech that there are different holes!
smdho 0
there are? hmm
vincent_vega_fml 0
**** the mods! have some balls and post this! freedom of speech, bitches! then go back and post all of my moderated replies!
slickrasta 1
Seriously I did not know this... give men a break! we like to put our dicks in there, not learn about it!!!
Zebidee 9
Whoever designed the sex education curriculum where you people are from should be slapped across the face. Hard. Then they should be tarred and feathered, and run out of town as the disgrace to education, public health, and responsibility to children that they are. The fact that some of these issues are up for discussion, let alone running debates completely blows my mind. Something has come horribly off the rails with your education system. The day someone tries to palm off this euphemistic, moralistic, ill-informed bullshit as education is the day the kids themselves should throw them out of their classrooms and demand to be taught properly. As for the parents who stand by and condone their kids being lied to, because they're too childish to face up to the fundamental realities of their childrens' lives, you have failed them in the most basic way imaginable, to your ever-living shame.
DocBastard 40
Nicely put, Zeb.
BrotherThomas 0
chill out. girls peeing has nothing to do with sex.
Zebidee 9
I'm pretty sure the basic layout of human genitalia does. It's hardly going to be taught in a calculus class now, is it?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Yes, nicely put, Zeb. Ultimately, I have to blame the parents for the lack of information. If you're not going to, y'know, do your job and teach your kids about sex, then you need to make sure they're getting THOROUGH information from school, at least, including the basics like Anatomy.
dabbers23 0
that therrr wuz a neet thing you right said right therrr.
mommymia 9
I read this to my 45 yr old bf and he gave me the most dumbfounded expression....fMYlife!
stevenmx86 8
Doc you dumb shit I don't know why you're having such trouble grasping this, there are clearly people in the comments talking as if she is referring to the asshole. Now, take a minute to calm down and stop acting intelligent just because you're anonymous and can spend a half hour formulating a response because you're on the internet..
DocBastard 40
"So women urinate out of their ass?" This is your quote. You said this. Not "people" - you. Who exactly is the dumb shit? The difference between you and me is that I don't have to *act* intelligent. If you have anything else to say to me, PM me. This ridiculousness doesn't belong in the public forum because you continue to embarrass yourself.
love15_fml 8
I'll probably regret getting into this discussion but... Steven, who has the question mark as a picture? Can you really say Doc's the one "acting intelligent just because [they're] anonymous"? Thought not.
BlargHonk 0
And DocBastard wins another round. That makes the score DocBastard: 9001, Stevenmx86: 0.
writergirl69 0
They don't teach you that in sex ed sweetie, and it's not really that obvious- I'm a girl and I learned that there are two holes from reading FMLs like this. And no, I'm not five.