Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
Today, I went to the bank to get a jar of coins exchanged for cash via a fancy counter machine. After 30 minutes I was handed a bag of rolling sleeves and was told to do it myself. Good news, I have a lot more money than I thought. Bad news, I have A LOT more coins than I thought. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
He gets turned on by money, now you know what to use to get him to have sex with you. Oh wait that's prostitution
niftyismybitch 21
maybe its just a roll of coins...
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Comments (95)
capnbzarr 43
Must have been at the D mint.
lukeboyyyy 11
funny
thequarterback 2
I'm glad to hear that the mints were open, unlike our government.
kayvan 8
Time to make a bikini made entirely of pennies.
pooldude 24
That is so damn weird and this is coming from a guy, so it must be true
Ryodin 11
Your boyfriend has an unnatural affinity to money. Things could be worse.
Omniprism 15
Use that for your advantage.
entis_fml 9
Next time on The Big Bang Theory... :)
Jeffy91 28
By any chance your not one of them women that juices her bf for money are ya? He might've been dreaming about having all them coins to go ahead and spend on you keeping you off his back. lol. I kid I kid
wafflefriez91 17
I'm shocked they let you in.