Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
Today, I went to the bank to get a jar of coins exchanged for cash via a fancy counter machine. After 30 minutes I was handed a bag of rolling sleeves and was told to do it myself. Good news, I have a lot more money than I thought. Bad news, I have A LOT more coins than I thought. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
He gets turned on by money, now you know what to use to get him to have sex with you. Oh wait that's prostitution
niftyismybitch 21
maybe its just a roll of coins...
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Comments (95)
kyu_Q 19
just think for a special evening you can let him follow a trail of coins to bedroom. You know he will be ready for you when he gets there.
shellzy 20
Eh, so he has weird turn ons, that's not so unusual. Just be thankful he isn't turned on by something catastrophic, like, say, dead bodies, or your sister.
SmokinGuns 13
exactly what I was thinking lol. atleast its just money
buckdharma 38
Has your boyfriend ever come into any money?
Epikouros 32
If coin collectors are like stamp collectors, they may already have had a vicious flamewar about whether the 1961 Elbonian 7 doufu coin is genuine.
bolinar 10
Some ppl get really passionate about things.
JBrownie123 24
Dress up as a big coin when he next wants to have sex?
TheDrifter 24
We've had that a while. Ever wonder why Scrooge McDuck was never wearing pants?
jw90 18
Hey if I saw a lot of money like that in one area it might turn me on too. I'm a poor sucker.
mosquito19 14
you can bend him over and blast him with a roll of quarters.
Brittface 6
Lmao that's horrible but hilarious!