Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
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Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
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Top comments
jam26 0
are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too
amirn86 0
Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants
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Comments (248)
Deadly_Punk 0
Well...that blows or maybe you should have :P rofl jkz jkz
drimpossible 0
#98: Nuh-huh! After we were done, it took me about 30 minutes to convince her it was my first time. It appears I was great. Of course, up to that time I had had a lot of time to plan what I would do if I ever got laid.
Ashes_03 0
Lol... I think the funniest thing about my first time (boyfriend wasn't a virgin) was that we couldn't quite... get things to work... (ie. he couldn't find the hole). XDDDDD We ended up collapsing in fits of laughter because he had been pouting that his penis was becoming discouraged when I teased that it was my first time and I was eager to know his excuse :P You have to be able to laugh at yourself and each other ESPECIALLY during sex. It's supposed to be a playful thing not some serious affair where you give your poor guy performance anxiety. (For any at all curious how my story ends, after about a half hour of flailing around we happily went at it for about two hours :P I had a rather enjoyable first time. Yay me!... But then again, the sex is always good with my lovey). Go easy on him. He was probably really embarrassed over that... It's not all about the sex you know.
sLap_fml 0
round two.
Kellayy 0
Wow.. that's all I gots ta say.. wow. FYL.
EGG_fml 0
sometimes that just happens
ShadowDXDragon 0
Wow, some guys just dont know you please the woman first before yourself.
ashleeyanne 0
omg, that really sucks. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, thirty seconds for your first time. poooooor thing.
andiexpandie 0
ugh, my ex was like this. i just told him to jerk off before we hung out. some guys just suck...vibrators do the job pretty well though!
reefers 0
he probly was a virgin.. tht happend to me the first time i had sex with my bf he finished in less than a minute when he told me that he wasnt a virgin he later admitted he was a virgin and didnt wanna come clean after lying to me while we were talking. he came clean like about 8mnths later. fml ..we're still together after four yrs so not really fml