Work, Health and TV shows: Too much TV rots your brain (so they say)

Too much TV rots your brain (so they say)

By Itstheapocalypse - 26/11/2017 19:00

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 3 129

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Same thing different taste

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 521

You deserved it 2 188

By fearofzombies - 13/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 311

You deserved it 13 256

By Anonymous - 10/10/2013 05:25 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 3 223

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 055

You deserved it 14 020

By 20lbknockout - 20/10/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 100

You deserved it 3 548

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 183

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 804

You deserved it 3 050

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 237

By Anonymous - 08/03/2010 00:44 - Australia

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 217

You deserved it 5 998

Treat yourself!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'd planned on treating myself to a spa day. I'd booked a massage and was so relaxed that I fell asleep during it. When I woke up, I realized that I had drooled all over the massage table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 173

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 26 November 2017 19:43

Was it still attached to her neck, or did it fall to the floor?

onceuponatime456 16

Sunday 26 November 2017 22:58

Zombies are NOT real!!! NOT REAL!!!!!l! WTF is wrong with you?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 26 November 2017 19:43

Was it still attached to her neck, or did it fall to the floor?

onceuponatime456 16

Sunday 26 November 2017 22:58

Zombies are NOT real!!! NOT REAL!!!!!l! WTF is wrong with you?

weeping_willow 25

Monday 27 November 2017 3:55

This actually made me laugh out loud. But anyways OP, YLS.

kujiens101 24

Monday 27 November 2017 6:45

If I was your client and you told me that, I would go back to you all the time just to mess with you

graayfox215 15

Tuesday 28 November 2017 5:28

Shall we bring lucille?

yeongji 31

Thursday 7 December 2017 1:39

I hope she is also a fan of the show and not uptight because if both of them applies to her, she would have laughed it off. Believe me, we once had a patient who sounded like a walker when they snored. I couldn't stop thinking there was a walker nearby for the entire shift.