Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
onebadsummer 0
You're dating a furry.
DogmaT_fml 4
well maybe you are supposed to find his nuts and then find a hole for them somewhere
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Comments (169)
blastvortex 4
It sounds like he needs help finding his nuts, if he even has any to begin with. But hey, you asked.
wafflebot 0
O.O this idea is extrmely arousing...
krislea10 0
okay while I don't necessarily believe gay is the right thing... I'm definately not gonna condemn him. you do what you do.. but if my bf said this to me I would laugh in his face.. and feel really awkward
zattele 3
*with a squirell voice* how low can you go.... how low can u go ....
devilishD 0
well it's just obvious that he's been affected by all those naked furry squirrels frolicking with their golden nuts, teasing him! Damned homewrecking squirrels!
bonnieandclyde44 0
hahahaa
lost1994 0
haha yea then you can chew on his nuts ;)
HermonieGranger 0
lol! @106 eew but funny
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Thats what you get for being a furfag and dating a furfag.
Tahsis 4
Half of all relationships on FML are gay which is way above the actual amount. So either gays get screwed over more or some people are lying.
Lord_of_0 4
Well, if I had to choose between "gay people get screwed over more than any other group in the world, except possibly transsexuals" or "there are a lot of lies and troll FMLs on FML", I'd have to go with... both.