Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
onebadsummer 0
You're dating a furry.
DogmaT_fml 4
well maybe you are supposed to find his nuts and then find a hole for them somewhere
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Comments (169)
Iniit_Bladz 0
@tiancai I actually laughed at your ignorance. I'm from Ireland, where homosexuality is most certainly not promoted, not in the slighest, it's just a fact of life and we just get on with it because WE HAPPEN NOT TO BE UNEDUCATED RETARDS. And what media promotion? I haven't exactly seen any adverts yapping on about how great homosexuality is. Where the hell did you get the idea it's absoloutely fine to be disgusted by something you know **** all about? You basically said it disgusts you. So you avoid it. So, because you've been avoiding it, you've never seen it properly, therefore, you have no idea what the hell you're talking about! I resent you saying girls are gullible, my sister doesn't agree with gay marriage or adoption, but she's not homophobic. They're ust her views, and she's prefectly entitled to them, so long as she's respectful. She doesn't abuse other human beings for being different. Why are you proud of your ignorance, your narrow-mindedness, and for being disgusted by something as harmless as two people being together? It's not as if they're gonna tie you up and make you watch. You're just so immature, grow up and get a pair. And lastly, you let me know one person you know who chose who they fell in love with (and isn't lying thought their teeth.) Just read all the horrible, offensive comments on this - why would a person choose to be gay? Choose to risk being rejected by their family and peers, choose to maybe never be able to have children? Answer - they wouldn't. Gay people can't help being gay anymore than I can help what colour my eyes are. Incidently, what oh-so-enlightened country are you from that encourages being an igonrant bastard like yourself?
jeniilouise 0
i know! if the post was written by a woman most of these comments would be completely different - about the FML rather than discrimination against gay people. Keep offensive comments to yourselves people!
blazingman311 1
init
tiancai 0
I've never been to Ireland, so I can't make a comment based on experience, but it's a well known fact that Western Europe is very liberal (so I doubt Ireland is much of an exception). You probably have plenty of American movies/dramas broadcasted on your TV, and they usually promote an "it's ok to be gay" message. What brilliant logic. I doubt most people have tasted shit, or even so much as seen someone else eat it, but most people find the idea of eating shit disgusting. I guess they're just ignorant bastards who should watch 2girls1cup to educate themselves, and they'll change their mind in an instant. Why would someone choose to have down's syndrome, or schizophrenia? Just because they can't help it, it doesn't make them normal like us. In all of the countries I've been to in Eastern Europe and Asia, homosexuality is looked down upon as disgusting and inappropriate by the majority of the population.
HoboPorn 1
@ Tiancai That's kinda weird, but it could be Worse. You could be Tiancai. Silly boy trying to speak his mind on the internet. He should have some common sense; people will bash on your opinions on the internet. 'nuff said.
tiancai 0
Aye, of course I'd get my opinions bashed on a site full of retarded westerners. That's the whole point, it's entertaining y'know?
Gele01 0
get away from him FYL
OGReaper 2
hilarious. do it.
unique_freak 17
you'll never know if you like it till you try it! Go for it!
_whoops 0
well im not saying people choose to be gay but it is not that they are born gay... it can vey well depend on how they are raised, how close was the family and of course the media plays a huge part in this. i am not saying that its their fault but they should try to not go against what they were meant to be. in some countries not now for say but being gay was pushed upon then to lower the population...it worked...so we can easily say that its not biological. if you do not believe me look it up and one more thing...dont have sex before marriage it only causes problems
sic_fml 6
So let me get this straight... this guy is gay because he's dating a girl. Yup. That makes sense.
_whoops 0
did you read anything on this...its all about this guy being gay...
fleshandbone 0
YDI for dating a dumbass. *****.
Hillbilly_Deluxe 3
FURRIES FTW!!
FerrariCake 2
Take a hint, OP: he just wants you to play with his nuts.
tnae2 0
so... he's your boyfriend... and he stored his nuts?
hartattack4k 0
what a fruit