Love: Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I...

By Em - 15/10/2009 06:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 239

You deserved it 3 607

Love

Walk the line

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

You tried

By divorced - 19/08/2010 10:01 - United States

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 679

You deserved it 4 550

Kinky

By huskynick - 18/06/2020 05:05

Today, it's been two days and my girlfriend still won't talk to me. Why? Because she made out with a mutual friend at a party, and got mad at me for thinking it was hot rather than being jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 582

By Miss_Whipped - 14/10/2016 06:04 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I just received the king-sized bed I'd ordered. My boyfriend moved out two days ago when we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167

You deserved it 1 197

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 412

You deserved it 3 442

By Anonymous - 17/09/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 357

You deserved it 24 053

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 859

You deserved it 175

By Hi, I'm Heather - 01/10/2014 02:05 - United States - Lincolnton

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 039

You deserved it 2 865

No Future

By Notgoodenough - 11/03/2021 23:01

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who lived in Tennessee, moved to Georgia to be with his long-distance girlfriend. I live in Georgia too, and last year he broke up with me after two years together because he “didn’t see a future in Georgia” to be with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 116

By dykerino - 12/10/2014 00:11 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 7 526

By klala - 08/02/2012 14:07 - Reserved

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 097

You deserved it 3 361

By ninjawhat1337 - 25/05/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 595

You deserved it 57 164

Great first impression

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 10:57

Today, I finally spoke to a counsellor about my depression. As soon as the session started, I became so anxious that I could barely speak. Once the Zoom call was finished, I got the distinct impression that she thought I was mentally disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 103

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 119

You deserved it 8 971

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 16:16 - United States - Port Lavaca

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 113

You deserved it 3 958

By breathexali - 24/07/2010 10:50 - United States

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 039

You deserved it 29 095

By SherryBaby - 29/12/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 28 120

By thank god you'll only live once - 08/11/2013 20:12 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 090

You deserved it 3 760

By lonelygirl - 14/02/2010 05:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 599

You deserved it 3 431

That'll do

By worstaunty - 04/03/2020 18:01 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I had to pick my 2 year-old nephew up from day care for the first time. When the lady asked me who I was there to pick up, I realized I didn't know his actual name because we all call him "Bebe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 2 133

By LoveMeMother - 20/09/2018 05:00

Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 519

You deserved it 318

Nice to see you too

By Anonymous - 19/03/2011 15:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 797

You deserved it 67 238

By Zebracat - 13/04/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to tell my boyfriend happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after it sent, I realized the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 348

You deserved it 56 240

Thicker than blood

By fat fat fat fat fat - 23/03/2021 05:01

Today, despite the fact that I’ve been battling cancer for the past year and was hospitalized for Covid, all my family can talk about is how much weight I’ve gained. Yeah, not like being out of work, quarantined and on a ton of meds has anything to do with it. Thanks guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 74

By That escalated quickly. - 28/08/2017 20:00

Today, I was excited by the thought of the bathroom in my rental being replaced after the plumber advised that the leak can't be easily fixed. Instead, the owner's decided to fully renovate and is kicking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 898

You deserved it 307

By Lucie - 23/12/2013 01:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 916

You deserved it 5 278

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 124

You deserved it 4 078

Mistaken identity

By Guess I was wrong - 16/03/2020 06:23

Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 365

Been around the world and I, I, I, I can't find my luggage

By 1942ford - 23/07/2013 02:18 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 122

You deserved it 3 809

By Anonymous - 02/07/2011 21:28 - United States

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 239

You deserved it 18 124

Bashing

By ZiggyTink - 09/07/2015 03:24 - United States - North Branch

Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 570

You deserved it 2 375

By peepeepants - 18/08/2009 12:35 - Canada

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 515

You deserved it 17 362

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 779

You deserved it 4 366

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 1 934

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 268

You deserved it 3 792

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 15:46 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 511

You deserved it 2 964

By Anonymous - 09/07/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 010

You deserved it 4 558

By Noname - 08/02/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 855

You deserved it 2 150

By slcbabii23 - 01/10/2009 07:56 - United States

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 385

You deserved it 40 049

By campus pussy - 22/03/2014 21:08 - United States - Ross

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 968

You deserved it 11 413

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 993

You deserved it 4 613

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

trackies 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 19:59

So. Is the OP implying that her boyfriend is cheating on her? Or was he talking about girls he fooled around with in the past? If it's the latter: anyone who says "YDI" is a fucking moron. If YOUR partner accidentally calls you and YOU listen to him talk about cheating on you, HOW is that your fucking fault? Yes, the minor issue is that she "eavesdropped". But sure, let's all forget that he's fucking cheating on her. Jesus christ, people. These boards are so fucking sexist sometimes. If the genders had been swapped, I'm sure there'd be a zillion "she's a slut" comments by now.

misspeg 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 16:41

sucks that people cheat

catherinee 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 13:27

HOLY SHIT.

CoconutMuffin 5

Send a private message

Saturday 25 June 2011 9:09

liveBabylon 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 13:33

I'm a cunt.

chrissy888 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 28 October 2009 4:27

wow is that really necessary?

lucyinthesky420 10

Send a private message

Friday 30 March 2012 3:18

Piss her of what? Your comment doesn't make sense.. ;)

wtfmeesh 4

Send a private message

Thursday 7 June 2012 7:17

Why would she not listen, if he called her? Are you the whore he was fooling around with? :)

gothymama 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 13:37

HAHA, you got butt-dialed!

xxcrazybestiexx 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 13:55

Fyl, u didn't know he was going to say that. Maybe it's a joke.....haha... Yea,but that sucks

tiancai 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 14:04

He deserved it for not using the keypad lock feature.

ifinishlast 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 14:09

Happened to me, bro.

kegg 1

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:38

And your a rude ass bitch , he accidentally called her. Fuck his life!

ragsy 7

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 14:46

Curiosity killed the OP.

donkey_hang_down 2

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 16:13

He wouldnt talk about you like that to his friends, he respects you too much...... He will only talk about all of the girls that he is cheating on you with. Now get back to your homework!

misspeg 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 16:41

sucks that people cheat

Erkxx3S 0

Send a private message

Monday 5 April 2010 7:49

agree

rc024 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 18:08

Fuck me, that sucks.

missmasturah 0

Send a private message

Thursday 15 October 2009 19:37

Wow, you're an idiot. Rather she know, and do something about it. Than not knowing, and be with some asshole like you.

jeniilouise 0

Send a private message

Saturday 24 October 2009 2:48

agreed...yes the OP was listening into a private conversation which isn't right but he/she had good reason to! and i think the point has been missed if you think the OP deserves it...the fml isn't about the phone call, its about the fact that the boyfriend is a cheater, which would still be the same if the OP didn't listen to the phone call.