Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML
Today, after I had an excellent one night stand with a guy yesterday, I saw him at work. He was a client my boss was trying to talk into a deal. The guy recognised me and accused my boss of sending me to seduce him into signing the contract. The deal fell apart and my boss is livid with me. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my mom stumbled into my house, drunk and half naked, while I was in a Zoom meeting. My client said he no longer had an interest working with someone with such a disreputable home life, and offered to pray for our salvation before ending the call. My boss is going to eviscerate me. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my boss threw me out of her office during a conference call for daring to correct her. The client fired the company because she subsequently got all the information on the call wrong, and plainly had no idea what was going on. From all the screaming, this is now all my fault. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
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Top comments
sweet_candy_ 17
Wow, that's creepy.
Cinn_fml 23
Well, that's a new one. I'm not sure exactly how sexual harassment laws work in the US, but I'm sure you could've got something to at least make him behave... Unless he was just joking and completely misjudged the professional level he should have been using.
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Comments (154)
suppressed08 2
The boss seemed to know aswell :| Sent her to the slaughter there..
Driftz 3
I'm very sorry about how I was saying "I will rape you in my office". I hope you can forgive me. But really I'm suing for all you have. :)
ImaginaryFoe 1
You could've excused yourself after the first comment and come back with a concealed recording device (or a phone that was on with your boss or someone on the other end). One more comment would've gotten you a contract renewal, hush money, and a more docile client. Or you could've gone all Lisbeth on him.
zombieglamour_fml 0
lol op would have to go buy a tattoo machine then :)
sourgirl101 29
Holy Hell, I just saw the "Lady with the Dragon Tattoo" movie last week. That rape scene was so disturbing. Great movie minus that part.
meteor_stream 9
Or with somebody from security staff from that company. That would make the client even more docile, actually.
N0tabasicweezy 0
That is scary you should report his ass or should have walked out that totally disgusts me that he would say that
TiffanyBlews27 0
Wow. Let's hope you have some sort of video or tape recording of that... Then you can get him arrested for the comments about raping you. Like, that's not even something to joke about. He's a dumbass that feels the need to seem a big, bad man, so he threatens to overpower you. That loser.
emomarzy 0
well did u kno that u can now sue him
AthinaMarie 0
Jesus christ! I will gladly be on your face ANYDAY "whatthefuq" ;)
momo1972 3
GRENADE!!!!
ChiefLancaster 0
Well, he couldn't rape the boss,,,, All he can do to him is sue him..
djuraw 0
get ******* raped that sucks