Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a harsh warning from my boss. I apologized because I was genuinely in the wrong. My girlfriend found out about it and sent my boss a message, threatening to kick her ass. I'm now suspended. Thanks babe. FML
Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I'm just that unlucky, and suspended. FML
Today, I got written up for insulting a customer last week, who then rang up to complain about my bad attitude. I was on vacation all last week. My boss doesn't believe me. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I accidentally mistyped "one sec" as "one sex" in a group chat at work. I apologized and corrected myself immediately, but some bitch with too much free time was so offended that she reported me to HR anyway. I'm suspended while they look into it, and my girlfriend is convinced I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I finally had enough of my coworker mocking and misgendering my transgender daughter, so I screamed at him. I got written up and suspended without pay for 2 weeks. He got praise from our boss for handling the situation with class. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML
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Top comments
andiewithlove 21
She does, however, have dangerously high levels of bitch.
Steve95401 49
I remember an episode of "Grey's Anatomy" where someone was treated for that condition.
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Comments (70)
Alan2 24
You should've asked her what it said. This is what happens when you sign stuff without bothering to learn what it says. YDI
buckdharma 38
She needs to take her medication every 4 hours by way of mouth.
Kallian_fml 21
What about a nice hard enema?
watermelon1 35
I'm curious as to why the boss was able to read the subordinate's handwriting, while OP could not.
lilhellian 27
It depends on the person.. I can decipher almost anyones handwritting while someone I know can't even read cursive...
Callyn 47
Then that person is stupid. Cursive is taught in grade school, if an adult cannot read it they should go back to third grade and actually pay attention.
CharresBarkrey 16
33 - You should see some doctors' cursive writing. Not everyone writes in perfect, 3rd grade cursive. Most write in their own version of cursive, which can be hard to decipher.
Callyn 47
But not being able to read a specific writer's cursive is different from not being able to read cursive. Some people have sloppy handwriting, but cursive is still a major style of handwriting and an English-speaking adult should be able to read it.
CharresBarkrey 16
41 - That's true, I didn't read their comment like that, my bad.
MissahMissy 25
33- It's sad, but elementary schools don't teach cursive anymore. My mother-in-law is a sixth grade teacher and she said they only learn how to write their names in cursive. It's honestly not right.
zolziski 11
I never learnt how to write in cursive :( But I can still read it... I agree about doctors' handwriting though! I am always super impressed with the pharmacist for figuring the medication out.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Most places now and days have voted to drop learning joined writing and study things like typing instead. If you give it a few years the amount of people who can actually read and write cursive is going to be basically zero. Personally I'm going to teach my kids cursive even if they hate it.
Fmlsea 28
Maybe suggest that further requests are typed and printed out that way there's no mistaking what is writen.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lmfao! You made my night.
lilhellian 27
Then favorite it. There is indeed a button for that!
MidnaLink 35
FYL for not being able to read someone's handwriting because it resembles a 12 year old's. You do so not deserve this!
lilhellian 27
Why didn't op nut up and ask?
jewwybeanzzz 10
Have you ever heard of not signing anything you don't understand? Yeah. That's what OP should have done.
CharresBarkrey 16
Reminds me of the Human CentiPad episode of South Park.
80skid 15
So getting suspended from your job is less embarrassing eh?
b_rad_fml 4
YDI, how can you put your signature on any document you don't fully understand!
buckdharma 38
Maybe you should learn how to read dicktation.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I see what you were trying to do but you don't read dictation so it doesn't quite work. Dictating is when you are being told what to write down by someone else. What you read is simply whatever document the information was being put onto.
onorexveritas 24
get some!