NoPrivacy
United States
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
yuen
Australia
Not now, mate
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
not telling you my name
Elkhart, United States
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
Username
Brooklyn, United States
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
shittysongs
Bothell, United States
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Anonymous
Newcastle Upon Tyne, United Kingdom
SHAME! SHAME!
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Mandi
DELETE! DELETE!
Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML
Madridsta
Rialto, United States
Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML
PeePee
United States
We heard you
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
DonPedro
United States
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Taylor Page
Gainesville, United States
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
"You need a new job, you need a new job."
twifan1901 0
Why would you do that?
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Comments (128)
senor_awesome 14
In that case, she should fart louder so they can't steal her song. The record company would think it's getting the latest hit, then BAM! Restroom farts at its nastiest.
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Who do you think u are R Kelly. Ima piss on u!
KiddNYC1O 22
Shapoopi!
smydiwannafthata 5
No shit?
KatieKupcake4195 9
You need A shit? Huh. I understand if you were saying "I need TO shit!" but you said "I need A shit!" What do you need said shit for, OP?
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Hahahahaha I'm literally cackling like a banshee on crack here. That's ******* hilarious OP is epic!! Lol reminds me of how my brother used to sing "I wanna pee again, I wanna pee again, I wanna peeeee" when he needed to use the bathroom. But yours is so much better omg I'm still crying. :'D
Cav666 0
Been there done that! Lmao! Good times though!
TheChosenSpoon 0
Why in the Hells name and the Gods eyes would you do that?OP high as fuckk,singing about taking a dump and sh!t
hurrican_fml 0
Perfectly normal
angelofsaturn 23
lol hey I'd have been amused by it cause I've heard people sing about weirder things at work. Wiggly jiggly **** for one thing.