Intimacy: Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing... - FML

By Annoyed - 15/01/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 014

You deserved it 1 713

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Same thing different taste

By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 380

You deserved it 2 548

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 742

You deserved it 6 483

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 941

You deserved it 14 580

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 349

You deserved it 29 660

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 958

You deserved it 2 030

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 643

You deserved it 29 338

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 582

You deserved it 5 698

By SecondBest,IGuess - 30/04/2013 17:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 485

You deserved it 16 438

By Stinky. - 09/04/2012 03:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 695

You deserved it 2 736

By Anonymous - 22/05/2014 21:27 - United States - Saugus

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 711

You deserved it 10 334

Next

Top comments

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 12 January 2017 4:08

Well... have you seen it?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:27

You were doing a great 'job. The ******* scene in Kung Fu Panda 3 is hotter than most live-action ****. Spoiler Alert!

Comments

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 12 January 2017 4:08

Well... have you seen it?

ibra5428 0

Sunday 15 January 2017 21:24

????

FrozenMusic 26

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:13

He's a keeper

dancingwell 0

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:27

You deserved it. You deserve to see Kung fu panda 3. Awesome movie!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:27

You were doing a great 'job. The ******* scene in Kung Fu Panda 3 is hotter than most live-action ****. Spoiler Alert!

daveshira 3

Saturday 21 January 2017 8:39

Not all heroes wear capes

meganblowe 1

Sunday 15 January 2017 19:59

<p> So was it good? The movie, not the ********.</p>

RememberSchlitz 9

Sunday 15 January 2017 20:24

<p>You were doing fine - he's just trying to last longer.  It used to be that guys would think about baseball.  Now it's Kung Fu Panda 3.  Times change, ******** are ever awesome.</p>

catdog414 11

Sunday 15 January 2017 22:12

Well that situation 'blows'

ismedrage 17

Monday 16 January 2017 0:48

Why are almost all the FML's about gay people

Allornone 35

Monday 16 January 2017 13:30

why do you care?

cootiequeen4444 11

Tuesday 17 January 2017 4:50

because gay people are submitting a lot of FMLs that are accepted. that's why. not exactly rocket attorney, M.D., stuff.

jadums 5

Monday 16 January 2017 1:13

Lol. That's how guys think. Not a big deal.

geniusness 6

Monday 16 January 2017 6:22

<p>Which style were you doing? Tiger? Monkey? Crane? Oogway - I bet you were doing Oogway.</p>

Keywords

Money Insurance Plumbing Awkward Love Suspicious Relatable Cheating AITA Relationship advice Weird First Dates Marriage Health Poopoo peepee Gross Mental health Cars Death Family Parenting Kids Miscellaneous Transportation Capitalism My ex Social Media Friends Instagram Public freakouts

The Top

Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 81

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 381

You deserved it 60 088

The Top

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 143

You deserved it 7 063

Today, an old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 047

You deserved it 5 965

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 744

You deserved it 3 783

Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 753

You deserved it 1 079

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 194

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 430

You deserved it 4 238