Intimacy: Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing... - FML

By Annoyed - 15/01/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 027

You deserved it 1 716

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Same thing different taste

By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 392

You deserved it 2 554

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 6 490

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

Teaching moment

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 975

You deserved it 2 038

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 651

You deserved it 29 367

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 5 731

By SecondBest,IGuess - 30/04/2013 17:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 495

You deserved it 16 452

By Stinky. - 09/04/2012 03:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 706

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 22/05/2014 21:27 - United States - Saugus

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 723

You deserved it 10 340

Next

Top comments

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 12 January 2017 4:08

Well... have you seen it?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:27

You were doing a great 'job. The ******* scene in Kung Fu Panda 3 is hotter than most live-action ****. Spoiler Alert!

Comments

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 12 January 2017 4:08

Well... have you seen it?

ibra5428 1

Sunday 15 January 2017 21:24

????

FrozenMusic 26

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:13

He's a keeper

dancingwell 0

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:27

You deserved it. You deserve to see Kung fu panda 3. Awesome movie!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 January 2017 18:27

You were doing a great 'job. The ******* scene in Kung Fu Panda 3 is hotter than most live-action ****. Spoiler Alert!

daveshira 3

Saturday 21 January 2017 8:39

Not all heroes wear capes

meganblowe 1

Sunday 15 January 2017 19:59

<p> So was it good? The movie, not the ********.</p>

RememberSchlitz 9

Sunday 15 January 2017 20:24

<p>You were doing fine - he's just trying to last longer.  It used to be that guys would think about baseball.  Now it's Kung Fu Panda 3.  Times change, ******** are ever awesome.</p>

catdog414 11

Sunday 15 January 2017 22:12

Well that situation 'blows'

ismedrage 17

Monday 16 January 2017 0:48

Why are almost all the FML's about gay people

Allornone 35

Monday 16 January 2017 13:30

why do you care?

cootiequeen4444 11

Tuesday 17 January 2017 4:50

because gay people are submitting a lot of FMLs that are accepted. that's why. not exactly rocket attorney, M.D., stuff.

jadums 5

Monday 16 January 2017 1:13

Lol. That's how guys think. Not a big deal.

geniusness 6

Monday 16 January 2017 6:22

<p>Which style were you doing? Tiger? Monkey? Crane? Oogway - I bet you were doing Oogway.</p>

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 738

You deserved it 5 265

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 127

The Top

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC Fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year-old girl in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 759

You deserved it 6 030

Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 181

Today, I was told I can't renew my Identity Card without a Social Security Card, and I can't get a replacement Social Security Card without an Identity Card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 433

You deserved it 521

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 339

You deserved it 45 329

Today, I saw a text from my mom asking, “Are you still with that girl from last year? I miss her.” She was talking about my ex. The girl I’m dating now saw the message before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 85

Today, my girlfriend found a teacher who taught her 10 years ago. He's a complete player, but she fell instantly and madly in love with him and kicked me to the curb. We dated for 3 years and lived together for two. I was fixing to propose in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 915

You deserved it 354