Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
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Top comments
BlondePsycho 43
Slip laxatives into his food.
thebigslim 13
To be fair .... anyone would laugh at Dickens.
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Comments (69)
ZachHatesPeople 22
If you were at college I'm willing to bet everyone knew you were high. So dont worry about looking like a retard.
j_cat187 20
Weed is expensive, why waste it?
k8Pluss 8
To be honest....everyone probably just thought you were high.
iwanttogotoparis 26
At least you didn't have to take a drug test
jade3424 21
Classic!
False_Stupidity 42
Now you just need to be a bit LAX in your own cooking and slip something in to really give him the *****, preferably something real spicy as well for the double whammy. Call it curry in a hurry >;)
BlindlyWandering 17
Curry in a hurry, I like that!
tmtx 4
So ******* funny. I would pay to see that.
ohfortheloveof 4
um i make fudge called the creeper and I wonder how much stuff is in these brownies? do you fools just throw it in with some LSD or what? I make butter maybe that is why? But seriously you're an idiot for not knowing whats in the food you eat! AND your dumbass roommate needs to look at the stoners cookbook and learn how to cook!!!?
ProfessorMctitie 20
What are you talking about??
RyWillieMitch 16
#30. Just stoner things. We wouldn't get it.
brand125 17
27 - do you evem know what youre going on about?
BlondePsycho 43
#32 from what i understand he assumes that batch of brownies was ridiculously strong which makes no sense considering the mundanity of what happened. Embarrassing yes, but there are worse things.
chikinscratch00 8
lol hilarious
emmyloohoo 7
you assume those who you would deem "retarded" would laugh at what your immaturity would say is funny. you're the aashat
brand125 17
are you stupid?