Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
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Top comments
BlondePsycho 43
Slip laxatives into his food.
thebigslim 13
To be fair .... anyone would laugh at Dickens.
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Comments (69)
steppingonlegos 2
I would totally press charges.
Dellipop 12
A lady did that at work once. Brought weed cookies in, didn't tell anyone and one guy freaked out and an ambulance was called.! She had to come clean and tell everyone what happened. She then was suspended from work with pay for 1 year. Then came back and got a promotion. Australian government hey!!
nialls_girl 13
Slip mineral oil into some baked goods for him.
moomimamoo 24
There's always laxative brownies...
ohcheriecherie 20
they probably just thought you were high dude.
aislinn_skye 10
I laughed so hard at the Dickens thing, I had a coughing fit.
Jenniesaurus 14
Pretty sure students at college aren't going to be thinking you're a "retard" as you so eloquently put it. Most of them were probably right onto you. If anything they were probably thinking "that guy is high as ****..."
Shade1982 21
I'm pretty sure intentionally drugging someone is a criminal offense. What if you got behind the wheel of a car and had caused an accident?
PartnaDem 3
These don't get old, the brownies are dope. Dickens could hardly have neglected this connotation due to his mr Dick
glossykarma 19
I wish my room mate would give me a pot brownie :/