Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML
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Top comments
AholeCop 11
Catapoop? Trebushit?......sorry
foshizzle82 7
That's okay, think of it as compost.
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Comments (138)
lmbachman 23
omg that's hilarious... I needed that this morning!!!
futbolrulz 5
Your child has the right idea for his age, while he can still get away with it !
SqueakyChipmunk 22
So that's how that shit got on my door.
ashers81 3
Hahaha! That's awesome!
PrimalHunk 5
Epic. That is all good sir. Epic.
GlobalGenocide 8
You mean to say that's NOT how the sanitation system works? All these years...
ruthlessmofo 0
When I was a little kid it was my chore to clean up our dogs poop. My dad taught me to throw it into our neighbors yard. This reminded me of that haha
MaryPoppins88 14
Haha hopefully your neighbors are douchbags
Seethatguy 3
Don't forget to rub his nose in it so he doesn't do it again.
LONERANGER44 11
Good boy.