Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML
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Top comments
AholeCop 11
Catapoop? Trebushit?......sorry
foshizzle82 7
That's okay, think of it as compost.
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Comments (138)
puplintain 4
I would have children if I knew they would do hilarious things. I ******* hate my neighbors.
kittysundae 8
Same mine called the cops on me my brothers best friend my brothers and my grandma for putting works pipecleaner and tinfoil in plastic jugs on our driveway we said it was A science project
SApprentice 34
Your child is showing remarkable resourcefulness. Are you and your neighbor at war?
MaleficZero 0
THATS AWESOME I WISH I COULD TRAIN MY CHILD TO DO SUCH THINGS
theartists 5
Bet your caps lock key wishes you would learn how to type normally, first.
SApprentice 34
OH, HI THERE. I think your caps lock may be stuck.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
They must be shitty neighbors.
patrickalamo 48
Well they are now
Fisheyedfool7 2
Hardyharhar
BusinessTurtle 8
He's well on his way to becoming a biological terrorist. First the neighbor's yard then the WORLD!
PeteyPablo12308 20
Ok Stewie whatever you say..
BigJoeZD 16
Pinky and The Brain, actually.
LexieWins 0
Well, at least he's creative.
mikeofthunder 13
I think you've got a Homer-Ned neighbourly war easing its way into your homes. You can relax, OP. Your son is clearly Bart :)
thathipsterchick 2
Aha good one :3
lululatenight 28
Either that or mr turner finally got his revenge on dinkleberg....
sucessfultroll 18
genius
gardenwhipped3 14
With him being 6, i think this qualifies as a savant.
badactor009 0
Kids that age will do some weird potty tricks and toilet behavior. At six he should know where to go poop. Just reinforce appropriate use of the toilet and drive on. Don't make a big deal out of it.
Glidah 12
Or you could just be glad he used a stick. This could have turned out a lot messier.