Kids: Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the... - FML

By fuckyouharddad - United States - Sacramento

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

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Understandable

Compassion

Long story short

By Anonymous - 18/4/2020 20:00

News to me

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

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By LonelyCashier

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

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By swimfaned - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

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By Fluory - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/3/2020 14:00 - United States - Charlottesville

Smash the patriarchy!

Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend, trying to prove to him that I was stronger. I did. He started crying. He then broke up with me because he couldn't be in a relationship in which his girlfriend was stronger than him. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

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By thatgirl17 - United States

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

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By Tallie

Today, I fell down the stairs, breaking my foot and tendons. It was the first time I had ever broken anything, and the doctor said that it's the most complicated break he'd ever seen. It's too complicated to operate. Now I'm stuck in a wheelchair for god knows how long. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed. His reason? A Las Vegas wedding came up on Groupon. FML

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By weirdedout - United States

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Carrollton

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

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By Anon - Canada

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

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By thanks iphone - United States - Louisville

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

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By "Boyufd"

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML

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By Falouila - France

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2021 00:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Relax

Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

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By shithappens

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself.FML

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By Clauric

Today, I found out my 35 year-old brother got divorced 18 months ago when my now ex-sister-in-law told me via Facebook messenger, and asked me to tell my parents, as both of them were too scared to do it themselves. FML

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By pissed off

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

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By MB101 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

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By Lithiac - United States - Ocala

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

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By mycedes - United States

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

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By soccerbooty - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, for reasons that I dare not ask, I received a topless selfie from my Nan followed quickly by a simple sorry text. Sorry is not going to pay for the years of therapy I need. FML

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By Machine - Japan

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

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By messyfamily - Australia

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

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By faeliality - United States

Today, I discovered that yes, you CAN forget how to ride a bike. Too bad I discovered this in front of all my son's friends and their parents while at his birthday party. FML

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By Jonathan - Denmark

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Southport

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

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By RBergman - United States - Basin

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

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By chels

Plebs need not apply.

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

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By hapless - United Kingdom

Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver tells me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listen to him for 20mins, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charges me £5.80 and my boss gives me a warning for being late. FML

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Top comments

By alex_the_tiger | 14

#5915832 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:16

Your dad is awesome

By Pancakes017 | 19

#5915838 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

What an... icy... response.

COMMENTS

By Duskf1re | 12

#5915829 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:15

Hello

By alex_the_tiger | 14

#5915832 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:16

Your dad is awesome

Reply

lexiieeex3 | 32

#5916195 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 8:57

Yeah I really don't see a problem with this... Frozen's the shit.

Reply

egc573 | 40

#5916227 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 10:31

That it is 63, but all good things in moderation. I had a particular problem with MY sister and Frozen, but not "Let It Go."

No, my curse was, "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Reply

thefastnfuryass | 14

#5916496 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 17:26

OP should watch 'Unnecessary Censorship: Frozen' you'll end up with singing, "Do you wanna f--k a snowman!"

Reply

cometkeeper00 | 3

#5916670 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 20:13

She should turn away and slam the door.

Reply

DestinyNiya | 33

#5916759 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 22:56

#2 beat me to it, haha. I was going to comment the exact same thing.

Reply

1tsmenoah | 20

#5916963 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:28

#90 really? Why did you make a useless comment?

Reply

hxnnxh | 14

#5917633 - Thursday 17 April 2014 22:17

Hang in there OP!

Reply

TheHolyJuiceBox | 5

#5917892 - Friday 18 April 2014 4:43

#94 beat me to it, haha. I was going to comment the exact same thing.

Reply

katieemerr | 15

#5963687 - Tuesday 3 June 2014 0:01

OP's dad is a comic genius.

By usnwife | 18

#5915837 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

Loved the movie when it first came out, but now my 3

Reply

EpicSquishii | 21

#5915956 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:20

"... year old watches it over and over, so I'm quite sick of it at this point."

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5915966 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:31

... Very hairy toes have got bored ?

Reply

Soloman212 | 28

#5916968 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:36

"... concubines are constantly peeling on my Persian rugs."

By Pancakes017 | 19

#5915838 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

What an... icy... response.

Reply

OysterPearls | 33

#5915914 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:46

I suggest you just give them the cold shoulder, OP.

Reply

FlubbaBubba | 12

#5916023 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 4:46

You need to get revenge, OP. You can't just let it slide!

Reply

DonkeyTeeth2013 | 22

#5916046 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:10

The cold never bothered OP anyway

Reply

SammyS2012 | 21

#5916143 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 7:52

It seems that OP's father has a frozen heart

By crazypplun1te | 4

#5915840 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

You need to "let go" you sister's speaker over a cliff OP. I feel your pain.

Reply

1tsmenoah | 20

#5916110 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 6:50

Op can't "hold back anymore."

By blueboy154 | 12

#5915841 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

Wow hope for the best, i guess

By chance456 | 9

#5915842 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

that's whole movie is dumb plus the song's

Reply

blueboy154 | 12

#5915850 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:19

Then how do u explain all the money it made?

Reply

iLike2Teabag | 27

#5915871 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:26

#12 How do you explain all the money people like Justin Bieber made (and wasted)?

Reply

Mynamewontfi | 40

#5915873 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:27

Just because something makes a lot of money, doesn't automatically mean it's good. (With this I don't mean to say the film is good/bad, haven't seen it so I can't judge. But money isn't always a good indication if something is good or bad)

Reply

crazypplun1te | 4

#5915885 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:33

Ya like crack cocaine isn't a good thing but people make a shit ton of money off it.

Reply

SqueakyChipmunk | 20

#5915898 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:41

Hey now, we all have differing opinions.
Let it go, guys.

Reply

blueboy154 | 12

#5915899 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:42

Exactly (saw what u did there)

Reply

CloudBustah | 20

#5916058 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:19

#23 For the first time in forever, someone on FML tries to defuse the situation.

Reply

Jerakl | 21

#5916093 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:52

#23 Man, didn't see that one coming.

Reply

JACKxRAWR | 22

#5916266 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 11:31

I thought it was a pretty awesome movie.

Reply

1tsmenoah | 20

#5916964 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:31

#7 I don't like being a grammar nazi especially on FML, but since when do songs show ownership unless it is stated in the sentence

Reply

Soloman212 | 28

#5916971 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:38

With this comment and number 3's, I get the feeling someone's going around taking out anyone who doesn't love Frozen. I personally think it was

By OBTrice | 15

#5915844 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

Dad joke of the year goes to the op's dad

By chaosmanfun | 7

#5915845 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

That headache never bothered you anyway.

Reply

extrasnipes | 22

#5916297 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 12:34

Conceal, don't feel

By jnanderson | 16

#5915847 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:19

Maybe her computer will freeze

Reply

BoltTheSuperdog | 22

#5916216 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 9:51

#10 Your profile picture is perfect for your comment.