Kids: Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the... - FML

By fuckyouharddad - United States - Sacramento

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

I agree, your life sucks

51407

You deserved it

6580

Tweet

Share

Walk on the wild side

Long story short

The magic of love

By moxy

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9637

You deserved it

65625

Tweet

Share

By CutePenguin - Canada

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28640

You deserved it

2045

Tweet

Share

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25383

You deserved it

7755

Tweet

Share

By padthaimeanoose - Canada - Surrey

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30785

You deserved it

2436

Tweet

Share

By DumbFish

Today, I got up the courage to go to a nice place for lunch alone. I wasn't expecting the tilapia I ordered to be the whole fish, so I asked the waiter for a box because, "I forgot about an appointment in 20 minutes," just so he wouldn't think I was an idiot who didn't know what I was ordering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3731

You deserved it

964

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Akron

Today, I woke up and screamed: My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42551

You deserved it

4941

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/2/2021 17:01 - Netherlands

Night terrors

Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

677

You deserved it

182

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40356

You deserved it

6118

Tweet

Share

By GreenShelves - United States - Lynchburg

Today, after staying up late all week to get work done, I arrived at my job having accomplished all my goals. In my sleep-deprived stupor, I completely forgot to bring the briefcase that had all of the evidence of that hard work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20348

You deserved it

2648

Tweet

Share

By candy man - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49514

You deserved it

10697

Tweet

Share

By mochiko - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16458

You deserved it

56183

Tweet

Share

By DietKelp - United States

Today, at work, I was fired from my job for being too "forward" to my boss. All I did was get him coffee and a biscuit from McDonald's to celebrate his 15-year anniversary working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27466

You deserved it

2004

Tweet

Share

By transfer - United States

Today, I asked to change my major at the college I'm transferring to in the fall. Instead of letting me change my major, they withdrew my acceptance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37662

You deserved it

4735

Tweet

Share

By ieatoreos

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33147

You deserved it

2951

Tweet

Share

By ChloeisaDoll

Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1820

You deserved it

98

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26657

You deserved it

2403

Tweet

Share

By Screwed - Australia

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50281

You deserved it

15748

Tweet

Share

By only child says fuck you mom - United States - Holly Springs

Good question

Today, I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone. What caught my attention was when she said, "You ever look at your kid and just think... 'Fuck. Where'd I go wrong?'" FML

I agree, your life sucks

22692

You deserved it

2429

Tweet

Share

By Sady_Ct

Be careful what you wish for…

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1430

You deserved it

511

Tweet

Share

By seriouslywtf - United States

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks

117139

You deserved it

9260

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Fairfield

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23531

You deserved it

8154

Tweet

Share

By Thanks guys - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44944

You deserved it

4905

Tweet

Share

By lalibear - United States

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49186

You deserved it

7251

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks

64067

You deserved it

12118

Tweet

Share

By Sonofa - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

I agree, your life sucks

53032

You deserved it

3782

Tweet

Share

By Hungryman - France

Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40282

You deserved it

8222

Tweet

Share

By blondie875 - United States

Y'all need fiber.

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3414

You deserved it

1312

Tweet

Share

By whoops - United States - Vincennes

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38300

You deserved it

25841

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/1/2021 02:02

Hurry up!

Today, my wife told me not to rush her during packing for our upcoming move. She's lived in the house for 30 years and apparently needs to reminisce over every single item. FML

I agree, your life sucks

673

You deserved it

254

Tweet

Share

By facepalm - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29061

You deserved it

3789

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13793

You deserved it

1309

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, three days before their rent was due, my fiancé's friends moved out of our basement without saying a word to us. On their way out, they took an envelope from my locked desk with $800 in it that was for our wedding in six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4183

You deserved it

284

Tweet

Share

By DeeGirlMon - Canada - Calgary

Misconstrued

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27513

You deserved it

5995

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - Westminster

Today, my sister still refuses to pay back all the money she owes me because she once bought me something from the dollar menu at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20887

You deserved it

1677

Tweet

Share

By Dan223 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32467

You deserved it

3710

Tweet

Share

By nodullmoment - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56036

You deserved it

3234

Tweet

Share

By grosssss - Australia

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31652

You deserved it

3405

Tweet

Share

By rob

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I'd kissed another girl five days before we got together. She told me, "That's OK, I slept with my boss last week." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49479

You deserved it

7957

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9640

You deserved it

27422

Tweet

Share

By Ugly - United States

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50420

You deserved it

10013

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By alex_the_tiger | 14

#5915832 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:16

Your dad is awesome

By Pancakes017 | 19

#5915838 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

What an... icy... response.

COMMENTS

By Duskf1re | 12

#5915829 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:15

Hello

By alex_the_tiger | 14

#5915832 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:16

Your dad is awesome

Reply

lexiieeex3 | 32

#5916195 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 8:57

Yeah I really don't see a problem with this... Frozen's the shit.

Reply

egc573 | 40

#5916227 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 10:31

That it is 63, but all good things in moderation. I had a particular problem with MY sister and Frozen, but not "Let It Go."

No, my curse was, "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Reply

thefastnfuryass | 14

#5916496 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 17:26

OP should watch 'Unnecessary Censorship: Frozen' you'll end up with singing, "Do you wanna f--k a snowman!"

Reply

cometkeeper00 | 3

#5916670 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 20:13

She should turn away and slam the door.

Reply

DestinyNiya | 33

#5916759 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 22:56

#2 beat me to it, haha. I was going to comment the exact same thing.

Reply

1tsmenoah | 20

#5916963 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:28

#90 really? Why did you make a useless comment?

Reply

hxnnxh | 14

#5917633 - Thursday 17 April 2014 22:17

Hang in there OP!

Reply

TheHolyJuiceBox | 5

#5917892 - Friday 18 April 2014 4:43

#94 beat me to it, haha. I was going to comment the exact same thing.

Reply

katieemerr | 15

#5963687 - Tuesday 3 June 2014 0:01

OP's dad is a comic genius.

By usnwife | 18

#5915837 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

Loved the movie when it first came out, but now my 3

Reply

EpicSquishii | 21

#5915956 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:20

"... year old watches it over and over, so I'm quite sick of it at this point."

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5915966 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:31

... Very hairy toes have got bored ?

Reply

Soloman212 | 28

#5916968 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:36

"... concubines are constantly peeling on my Persian rugs."

By Pancakes017 | 19

#5915838 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

What an... icy... response.

Reply

OysterPearls | 33

#5915914 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:46

I suggest you just give them the cold shoulder, OP.

Reply

FlubbaBubba | 12

#5916023 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 4:46

You need to get revenge, OP. You can't just let it slide!

Reply

DonkeyTeeth2013 | 22

#5916046 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:10

The cold never bothered OP anyway

Reply

SammyS2012 | 21

#5916143 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 7:52

It seems that OP's father has a frozen heart

By crazypplun1te | 4

#5915840 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:17

You need to "let go" you sister's speaker over a cliff OP. I feel your pain.

Reply

1tsmenoah | 20

#5916110 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 6:50

Op can't "hold back anymore."

By blueboy154 | 12

#5915841 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

Wow hope for the best, i guess

By chance456 | 9

#5915842 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

that's whole movie is dumb plus the song's

Reply

blueboy154 | 12

#5915850 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:19

Then how do u explain all the money it made?

Reply

iLike2Teabag | 27

#5915871 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:26

#12 How do you explain all the money people like Justin Bieber made (and wasted)?

Reply

Mynamewontfi | 40

#5915873 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:27

Just because something makes a lot of money, doesn't automatically mean it's good. (With this I don't mean to say the film is good/bad, haven't seen it so I can't judge. But money isn't always a good indication if something is good or bad)

Reply

crazypplun1te | 4

#5915885 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:33

Ya like crack cocaine isn't a good thing but people make a shit ton of money off it.

Reply

SqueakyChipmunk | 20

#5915898 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:41

Hey now, we all have differing opinions.
Let it go, guys.

Reply

blueboy154 | 12

#5915899 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:42

Exactly (saw what u did there)

Reply

CloudBustah | 20

#5916058 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:19

#23 For the first time in forever, someone on FML tries to defuse the situation.

Reply

Jerakl | 21

#5916093 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:52

#23 Man, didn't see that one coming.

Reply

JACKxRAWR | 22

#5916266 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 11:31

I thought it was a pretty awesome movie.

Reply

1tsmenoah | 20

#5916964 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:31

#7 I don't like being a grammar nazi especially on FML, but since when do songs show ownership unless it is stated in the sentence

Reply

Soloman212 | 28

#5916971 - Thursday 17 April 2014 3:38

With this comment and number 3's, I get the feeling someone's going around taking out anyone who doesn't love Frozen. I personally think it was

By OBTrice | 15

#5915844 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

Dad joke of the year goes to the op's dad

By chaosmanfun | 7

#5915845 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:18

That headache never bothered you anyway.

Reply

extrasnipes | 22

#5916297 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 12:34

Conceal, don't feel

By jnanderson | 16

#5915847 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:19

Maybe her computer will freeze

Reply

BoltTheSuperdog | 22

#5916216 - Wednesday 16 April 2014 9:51

#10 Your profile picture is perfect for your comment.