Intimacy: Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On...

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 320

You deserved it 68 674

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Same thing different taste

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 520

You deserved it 32 050

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 851

You deserved it 11 965

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 2 085

Not now, dude

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 18:44 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 182

You deserved it 7 311

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 432

You deserved it 9 834

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 568

You deserved it 49 412

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 129

You deserved it 29 739

Bazinga

By Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 679

You deserved it 17 079

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 029

You deserved it 5 419

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 034

You deserved it 45 822

fatfaceunited 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 16:29

How do you forget you have a boner? Generally they're pretty apparent. Unless you have a small dick in which case the mom probably didn't feel it

warmvanillasugar 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 16:30

A congrats hug for what?

Comments

thumb_biter 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 3:32

is the congrats for getting with the girl? because if it's the first time meeting her mom that's a bit creepy.

Eugene6973 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 3:42

Should have popped that **** in her moms mouth and forced her to swallow your ****

cheesepowa29 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 3:44

don't worry.... thats my finger :D

krisFrAnHeehar 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:01

i agree completely with #18, and i just feel bad for #27 that he had to write his on porno to cum :(

Angry_Dad 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:08

Holy jesus 15 is a MORON. lmfao. wow @27. Anyways, how the **** can you forget you have a bonor? HONESTLY

outlaw24 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:33

she most likely went into a long talk about how its the first boner she has felt in months...im just guessing

kxu1337 1

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:37

how do you forget you have a boner?

roflwafl123 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 5:00

what was the congrats for? "Congratulations, your daughter felt me up on the way here!"

best_i_ever_had 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 5:12

i want a congrats hug for having a hard on how do you forget man my school can be on fire and im still thinking oh i hope no one see my tent lol

coffeennicotine 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 5:34

I hope to God you guys weren't on public transportation.

Keywords

Work Mental health Relatable Students Parenting Kids Love Embarrassing Awkward Family Intimacy Wanker AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

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Today, I told my stepdad 3 times not to unload my new stove by himself, being worried about both the appliance and his bad back. When I came back to the car two minutes later, he'd taken the stove out and was wondering where that huge scratch on the side might have come from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 90

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I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 318

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41 314

You deserved it 5 643

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 788

You deserved it 2 845

Today, it's my first day as the boss, after waiting months for this promotion. Today is also the day my replacement, who I trained for three months, quit. Now I've got two jobs for the price of one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 110

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 491

You deserved it 16 773

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 315

You deserved it 14 008

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 193

You deserved it 46 171

Same thing different taste

Not now, dude

Bazinga

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