Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML
Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
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Top comments
darkfaery 0
If you two are not married, then technically, she IS single. And if you don't want her to be single, then you ought to put a ring on it!
Carolaaine 0
As long as she doesn't try to kiss another boy (or boyS) you're quite safe.. It's just a song
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Comments (155)
Vykeera 0
#17 - The lyrics of the song treat deals with unmarrried people as single, so I'm assuming that's why some posters are taking that attitude. OP - It's like when there was that song, 'If you got a $100 bill put your hand up, if you got a $50 bill put your hand up...' was out; being in a small rural, slightly backwards part of the UK (:P) I doubt anyone in the local nightclub had those but we still put out hands up. Same as 'put your hand up for Detroit' - no reason why I'd want to put my hand up for Detroit, but I still did it. Why? Because it was fun. It was getting in the mood of the music. Come on, she was going clubbing with you, wasn't she? Logically, if she was trying to pull, she either wouldn't have gone with you or she would be doing it a lot more subtly. And if she wanted to be single, she probably would be by now. Edit: #21, sorry to disappoint, but I love the song too! :P
claireylea 0
i always do that to my boyfriend to annoy him :)
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@22, you also have terrible taste in music. That's what you get for only listening to Top40 music. Try expanding your musical tastes.
springalicious 0
If you like it then you should have put a ring on it!
The_Plague 0
To all who say that a song sucks, I hope you know that your stupid, you can never tell anyone what is the greatest thing ever because its a matter of opinion. and not being married makes you single, well then i guess you never had a significant other. why wouldn't the DJ ask that question if it wasn't for the single guys to hit on the girl, yea most DJ's will do that it's common sense, and it doesn't matter if she wasn't single and liked the song, you're saying that i can't like a song about alcohol just because i don't like alcohol? flawed logic.
Zerenade 0
Agreed with #4. Besides, maybe it was a joke?
no_one_fml 3
Heh, have you even talked about it? To me it sounds like she /was/ just having fun. Unless you'd said "Hey, what does that mean, you aren't single" and she'd responded "Why, now I am and you are, too", this isn't a FML but a misunderstanding. Do you generally communicate well? Doesn't sound like that.
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@26, of course it is a matter of opinion. However, that doesn't mean they don't have bad taste in music. It's just like with movies or books - just because you love Disaster Movie or Twilight, it doesn't make them a good movie or well-written literature. So yeah, I'm sorry that you take umbrage at me saying you have shitty taste in music, but I'm even sorrier than you like crap songs.
kadad 0
This is the dumbest FML I have ever read. You must be one really insecure son of a gun. Get a life, your GF was just having fun, something you might try sometime
casica 0
not an FML at all, she was just having fun and it doesn't mean anything. could you be any more insecure?