Love, Dance and Awkward: Shut up

Shut up

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 20:00

Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 350

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Same thing different taste

By oddbrien - 13/12/2016 03:34 - United States - Baltimore

Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 523

You deserved it 4 381

Don't even try

By divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 730

You deserved it 4 801

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 851

You deserved it 4 744

By Owned - 29/01/2009 00:32 - Taiwan

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 930

You deserved it 28 371

By IcantDance! - 01/10/2012 16:05 - United States - Daphne

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 357

You deserved it 2 733

Impressed indeed

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I joined a dance class to impress my girlfriend. Halfway through, I realized I had two left feet. The instructor asked me to demonstrate a simple move, and instead I tripped on the mat, fell into another dancer, and took her down with me. I’ve been banned from all future classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 121

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 575

You deserved it 3 047

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 696

You deserved it 43 481

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 020

You deserved it 5 921

By Mikey - 28/04/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 482

You deserved it 46 363

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 14 May 2019 20:29

Learn to like “Dancing With Myself” because that’s the only “Safety Dance” with you.

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 15 May 2019 4:41

“Oh don’t you dare look down, don’t trip on my knee”. I said “I’m falling down”. She said “Shut up, don’t break my feet”.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 14 May 2019 20:29

Learn to like “Dancing With Myself” because that’s the only “Safety Dance” with you.

Iamthebanzai22 21

Wednesday 15 May 2019 3:32

Well, unless you surprize her in hospital with flowers and homemade soup.

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 15 May 2019 4:41

“Oh don’t you dare look down, don’t trip on my knee”. I said “I’m falling down”. She said “Shut up, don’t break my feet”.

Sonata90 26

Wednesday 15 May 2019 11:45

She’s gotta be your destiny after that! Imagine the stories you’ll tell of how you met.

donb23 23

Thursday 16 May 2019 22:56

I think what she is going to be a a forth coming lawsuit.

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The Top

Today, my side piece told me that she’s pregnant with her husband’s baby. She refuses to break up with me, even though I'm no longer interested. She keeps crying and telling me, “It’s your fault!” I didn’t even know she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 2 090

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I found out my boss hired literally the only person in this town who is an ex-boyfriend. I also work with my current boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 220

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 130

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 1 929

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 977

You deserved it 32 475

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 147

You deserved it 10 874

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 161

You deserved it 3 999