Work: Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank...

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 15:42 - United States

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 097

You deserved it 15 161

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 053

You deserved it 4 843

By whatthewhat - 18/11/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 202

You deserved it 3 309

Gas giant

By DrGas - 04/09/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, while giving a lecture about gasses to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusually loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 395

You deserved it 47 239

By Anonymous - 17/01/2017 14:06

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 749

You deserved it 1 632

Bored to death

By squarecircles - 15/06/2019 10:46 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 550

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 830

You deserved it 6 950

Goodbye, 7 years of sobriety...

By Mash-brakketz - 25/10/2017 22:26

Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 324

You deserved it 285

She's lost control again

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 13:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 177

By ADickySituation - 05/05/2013 04:14 - United States - Wilmette

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 870

You deserved it 4 935

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 447

You deserved it 4 980

NaturallyUnlucky 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:03

That isn't sad. It's adorable.

mrhahn530 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:03

I plan to continue that behavior until i die...

Comments

Sucks2beYouxD 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 12:56

Helium is damn fun xD

NoKo_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 14:27

This specific post is only a FML to the OP not to a bystander such as our selves. get it right people.

Wolf999 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 17:12

haha wow. Always good to have a break from the wife. Or in this case...The husband? ;)

MikesAgirl 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 19:08

you cares! i plan on behaving like i do now till i die!

MikesAgirl 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 19:10

#98.... wrong!

hsdtt03 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 20:47

good to see u have a sense of humor :)

CandyApple 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 21:17

people who are saying you can die from this really bring the whole happy innocent immature mood down...

emmersx 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 21:29

HHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thats spectacular!!

ObadiahtheSlim 2

Thursday 21 May 2009 22:31

Dude that sounds like fun.

iambean 4

Friday 22 May 2009 0:11

that's awesome man! Who gives a shit how old you are.

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Roommate Music Singing Dogs Animals Relatable TV shows Love AITA Cheating Sports Weird Death Family Awkward Annoying Health Doctor Capitalism Money Work Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks

The Top

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 10 336

Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 334

You deserved it 7 122

The Top

Today, I wrote a bad review for a pizza place after their pizza gave me food poisoning. Now, they won't stop calling me, begging me to take my review down in exchange for free pizza. I have tried to tell them that I wouldn't eat their pizza again even if I got paid to do so, but they won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 578

You deserved it 1 392

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 487

You deserved it 12 051

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 825

You deserved it 1 360

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 127

You deserved it 11 219

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 311

You deserved it 28 872

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 395

You deserved it 52 938