Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
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Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML
Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML
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Top comments
rockne93 17
Orange you glad you aren't afraid of bananas, guys?
WFFLPWND 10
You must peel very bad... (I'm so sorry I have to)
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Comments (170)
RedPillSucks 31
Somebody got ass raped with a banana
smithv171 17
When I was way younger I had a phobia of bananas as well.. After some counseling and growing up, I'm fine now, but FYL. That sounds horrible!
Jelbeztok 17
these are one of those fears i dont understand..
Mr_Curly 1
keep a monkey in your house, I bet the bananas wouldn't come again. :)
summerluvinn 3
thats a hilarious dream.
janiebet 2
We're they wearing bananadanas?
aine500 16
What's that phobia called?
rsg0001 15
Just watch "It's Peanut Butter and Jelly Time" from Family Guy, over and over again. It will either cure your fear or give you some new interesting nightmares.
christiancrew 11
You're an idiot
kayla_lou97 2
What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? BANANANAAAAAAA