Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I slipped on a banana and hit my head. I woke up in the ER and thought it was a dream. Turns out it wasn't. FML
Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML
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Top comments
rockne93 17
Orange you glad you aren't afraid of bananas, guys?
WFFLPWND 10
You must peel very bad... (I'm so sorry I have to)
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Comments (170)
RyantotheP 6
thats ******* hilarious man
DerHolzkopfX 11
How do you even?
ohSNAPyall 27
Paging Dr. Freud!
ohSNAPyall 27
You should watch a movie called 'Johnny Stecchino.'
billyisgone 4
Oh no! I had a bad dream! I know what I'll do, post it on fmylife and make it appear that my life is ruined because I had a nightmare. *sigh* Our society is so screwed.
USxWolfCatxUK 16
Why do I get the feeling that this is a "Suite Life on Deck" reference?
nevertellme 9
Sometimes this happens to me. A few weeks ago I had a strange dream that every electronic device became self aware killing machines and couldn't touch my phone for hours.
edrith 10
the old kids show "Bananas in Pajamas" must terrify you..
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
People just have to be making this shit up now...how much free time do you have in your life to develop a phobia of bananas?
FMLtentimesover 6
What an odd phobia o: is there a name for this yet?