Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I bought a birthday card, wrote a long message, then sealed the envelope. At the party, I handed it over and immediately noticed the name on the front. I'd bought two cards at the same time and given her the one meant for someone else, my secret crush. I fled as soon as I could. FML
Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML
Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
OP, this is what you need to do: stop giving a shit about the perceptions that others might have of you, just because it's Valentines Day. Today is just like any other day, except men and women alike drain their bank accounts in feeble attempts to show their special someone that they "care". Last time I checked, love wasn't measured by how many boxes of chocolate and goofy looking teddy bears you bought for someone. You're single. Go out and enjoy yourself. Treat yourself to a nice dinner, a massage, etc. You don't need someone in your life in order to enjoy Valentines Day.
VannahJane 17
Well at least you know you love your secret admirer
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Comments (83)
perdix 31
Aw, I'll be your friend. And if you get me real drunk, maybe more ;)
Enslaved 38
That would be a sight to see! You going from: Intervert, to extrovert, to pervert . . . one sip at a time. ;)
perdix 31
#42, where does anyone get the idea I'm an introvert? Your bar tab with me will be a little less than you think because I always start in second gear ;)
taytoc 10
I moderated this one :D
User57777 13
Single Awareness Day!
Fuhkyoo 17
S.A.D.
wildcat90 1
Wow. If you really that desperate then you deserve it.
BigSexy123 11
Enough with the friendzoning crap. Maybe said guy should make his damn intentions clear, unless of course he's only friends with this woman in order to get a relationship. That's not going to work. Either ask her out, or don't and be friends - and I mean legitimate friends. We all think we're "just the person our crush is looking for" but really, there's a good chance we're not, so quit villifying the people who AREN'T interested, and grow a damn pair, ladies and gentlemen!
Shrike 24
Oh jeez, another "friend-zone" whiner. Grow a pair and take 46's advice. You're an embarrassment to the human race.
Tones217 9
Sorry you felt like you had to impress your family by inventing a secret admirer. What would be more impressive than a secret admirer is not giving a damn what they think and just having a good time doing whatever you want. Be happy with yourself OP.
simoncat 11
Eh. Whatever. At least YOU love YOU! (That's actually more than what the majority of the world can say.) Take yourself to dinner.
hurley12 30
YDI that's just pathetic.. I've never had a Valentine and I don't care.
perdix 31
#56, Aw, I'll be your Valentine. Sorry for breaking up your perfect losing streak. You can always reject me and start a new one.
bishbosh 7
I, for one, think Valentines Day isn't so bad. Sometimes relationships get stale or people get so busy with life and routine that they don't make the effort anymore and I think Valentines can be a nice little reminder. OP one day there will be someone in your life that makes you so happy that it won't matter about bits of cheap valentines-generated "gifts". Just cause you haven't met someone yet doesn't mean you should in any way feel inadequate or that you need to prove something to others. Just let it happen naturally. All this stuff won't mean diddly squat.