Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I bought a birthday card, wrote a long message, then sealed the envelope. At the party, I handed it over and immediately noticed the name on the front. I'd bought two cards at the same time and given her the one meant for someone else, my secret crush. I fled as soon as I could. FML
Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML
Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
OP, this is what you need to do: stop giving a shit about the perceptions that others might have of you, just because it's Valentines Day. Today is just like any other day, except men and women alike drain their bank accounts in feeble attempts to show their special someone that they "care". Last time I checked, love wasn't measured by how many boxes of chocolate and goofy looking teddy bears you bought for someone. You're single. Go out and enjoy yourself. Treat yourself to a nice dinner, a massage, etc. You don't need someone in your life in order to enjoy Valentines Day.
VannahJane 17
Well at least you know you love your secret admirer
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Comments (83)
Stefanie88 24
I don't see anything wrong with buying yourself flowers, they are nice, but you shouldn't have gone through the trouble of putting a secret admirer note.
The_Big_Boss 20
Why do people care *so* much about what other people think of them?
wildcat90 1
Yeah i know. Who cares what others think. Its you life not theirs.
truth_teller23 11
It's human nature to want to be liked and accepted. So generally that means you would care what others think.
WaywardDaughter 26
#48 if those people only like you or accept you because you are single/married or ANY other qualifying factor then they haven't accepted you for who you are and aren't worth your time.
DanielleinDC 34
Why do you care what your family thinks? So what if you don't have a secret admirer or anyone like that. Valentine's Day sucks whether or not you're part of a couple because the media encourage unrealistic expectations in people.
Futacy 30
I hate Valentine's Day.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm clinging to that bandwagon.
DocBastard 40
It's a known fact that 98% of flowers sent by a "secret admirer" were actually sent by the object of that so-called secret admirer's affection. Desperate cavemen would leave dead animals at the own cave door in an attempt to impress the cavewoman next door. It didn't work then, and it doesn't work now. No one in the history of mankind has ever successfully pulled off that scam.
kateelizabeth 6
I don't need a human to show off. My dogs love me more than a person ever will :')
duff29 3
Wow rookie mistake
MuseFan1991 14
there's no shame in not having a valentine. i didnt get my first vday card til i was 17. just relax and enjoy life and who knows, someone special might fall into your lap :) it did for me
sig4life 18
Go anti-valentines day.
SeepingSarcasm 7
Right on cue, here is the annual FML about the idiot who sends themself a V-day gift where something goes wrong and they look like a huge fool! Does FML readers not learn from the mistakes of others?
DocBastard 40
I think the fact that the same grammar mistakes continue to be made here answers that question.
SeepingSarcasm 7
That is sadly, a very true point Doc. Good think you're grammer are better then theres! :p