Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs with a cup of coffee. It gave me burns on my arm and I sprained my wrist. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I tried to get a cup from the designated cabinet. As soon as I opened it, a glass cup fell down, which I narrowly saved from breaking by having it bounce off my foot. Obviously, that didn't feel good. But you know what also didn't feel good? The travel mug falling on my head immediately afterward. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pleasetryagain 0
You were mugged! Cancel your credit cards.
Maxine17 8
Oh, look how you have failed! This is the best comment I've seen where someone gets their comment number wrong.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
Saluton 18
YDI for your attitude
FsoberLife 0
Have you no dishwasher? Go check out the new countertop, portable, "green" models at your local home improvement store. If you can't afford one, the cheap immigrant workforce can be found at the entrance to the same store. I'm not saying its right, just cheap.
Tess_fml 7
Does anyone really care about being "green" anymore? I thought that whole trend was over with..
driedpeaches 0
a gash? I don't think that scratch qualifies as a gash. what were you doing, washing it over your head.
starzchick 0
ummm... this is about as important as 'Today, I stubbed my toe, FML, or 'today, I bumped my head, FML... everybody cuts themselves and has minor mishaps, but you don't see us posting about it. Do you know what FML stands for? - next time, make it more interesting, or STFU
BeeSkwaird 0
Agreed!! How did this one even make it through?
xclegend613 0
lol 3 inch gash. sounds pretty sweet that is a must see
TheAnnointedOne 0
YDI for exaggerating your superficial scrape-wound from a f***ing coffee mug. Grow a pair.
Vitamin_C 0
you suck and your FML is not F'd at all.
C4R0L1N3 0
Reply to this comment if FML needs a "So What?" button.
blackandgold 0
yep.
joHnnycsU 0
how right you are. Some of us just don't give a crap trail:D
Deitz123 2
#29 diffinitly!!!
soccer_girl_622 0
at least you dont have nerve damage from a similar injury
soccer_girl_622 0
:)