Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML
Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML
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Top comments
FATSQUIRELL69 0
lmfao hahah your dad is funny, hes just probably joking around, most parents do that
breenntt 0
lmao. this made my day.
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Comments (134)
Telinaa 0
Don't worry, OP. I don't have a sense of humour either. It's not really neccessary to write a FML about your lack in funny bones.
Farion 7
Your dad is a boss, your fault for giving him a sh!tty present (even as a joke).
MrVain21 0
that had to have sucked
Suds29990 0
Lol i did that months ago in ASDA when i saw them. Did it to my friend who took offence and then proceeded to hit me with a plastic sword in the next aisle... (No were not children, were 20yr old students. Even more immature lol ;).)
AlvaTheStarvingA 0
66- My friend enjoys that band. I like the picture... :D Yay for old British torture methods and Kakuzu!
KaitlynxD 5
OP needs to learn to take a joke... It's actually pretty funny.
Dlux123 0
wow that's horrible!!!!!!
Ducati4623 0
Dad = Hero.
jessiicaxoxo 0
LMFAO. DOLLAR STORE STUFF(:
veni_vidi_vici 0
lmao that's hilarious