Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML
Today, I threw a party. My drunk boyfriend decided to bring my 50-inch flatscreen TV downstairs from our bedroom. The TV didn't make it. FML
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
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Top comments
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
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Comments (376)
CptHeinz 13
Sue her sorry ass and make that overreacting Bitch Pay !
claudio87 11
Run. Just run.
tuxedoandex 28
1) Dump the crazy bitch 2) Make her pay you back in full for every single broken thing 3) ??????? 4) Profit
NamelessFace 22
Lawsuit!!
bgreen1111 16
If she doesn't believe you or refuses to pay, take her to court and break up with her after
awesumous 16
That gurl is CRAZY!!! GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW!!! She WILL kill you if this continues!!!
XXX_Ehunt_XXX 17
sue her, ditch her, get a restraining order, change your name, move to an overseas remote village. Only then, you can hire a hitman to blow her brains out.
zefronke8 25
I hope you're going to make her pay. Literally and metaphorically. And maybe also sue for destruction of property. And dump her. And maybe murder her and her family while you're at it
Wolfipoo 31
In this situation I suggest making her pay for everything she broke, dump her, and find someone who will give you the benefit of the doubt no matter how bad it seems.
coolvictori 22
I hope she payed you back for everything after you dumped her.