Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Life is a roller coaster
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
And I Oop
Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML
Today, I threw a party. My drunk boyfriend decided to bring my 50-inch flatscreen TV downstairs from our bedroom. The TV didn't make it. FML
Great timing
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML
Alanis Morissette reference
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Nice of you
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Top comments
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
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Comments (376)
yay4felix 0
You dumped her, right?
GlennD 0
Report her to the ******* hospital. she sounds like a ******* crack head to me.
MLSxxox 3
How could she not tell who your mum was?? I hope she is now your ex, she sounds like a f***ing pyscho!!!
HeavyMetalHottie 0
That was very uncalled for. Word of advise, dear... never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesnt die. ;) I have borderline personality disorder and i would still NEVER do that to a boyfriend! unless i actually walked in on the boyfriend cheating. then id tear that ************'s eyes out and force feed him his new **** buddy. raw.
HeavyMetalHottie 0
That was very uncalled for. Word of advise, dear... never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesnt die. ;) I have borderline personality disorder and i would still NEVER do that to a boyfriend! unless i actually walked in on the boyfriend cheating. then id tear that ************'s eyes out and force feed him his new **** buddy. raw.
melonsmasherrr 0
hahahaha that sucks ass dude. sorry:/
sexybitch92 0
you TOTALLY deserved it.. why were you even out partying with out your girlfriend for your birthday &+ why does your mom sound like a ****.. people like you get on my nerves..
Chocolate_Chunk 2
even if he really cheated on her, that wouldn't make destroying his stuff right. The usual reaction is breaking up, not going on a rampage and destroying all his stuff. But he diddn't even cheat on her. Seriously, what the **** is wrong with you?
olomisspiggyolo 0
that girl better pay up. haha. she should have known it was your mother instead of jumping to conclusions that quickly!
baybaykitteh 0
slap the bitch!
slynoble32 11
say u should sue dat stupid **** for all of tgat stuff and leave her ass and then if u gots kids by her take em and be like u can support em better bc shes bankrupt