Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML
Today, I threw a party. My drunk boyfriend decided to bring my 50-inch flatscreen TV downstairs from our bedroom. The TV didn't make it. FML
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
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Top comments
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
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Comments (376)
jtaylor991 6
umm..sue her in small claims? that sucks dude
stitesy29 18
Dump her and sue her
stitesy29 18
Dump her and sue her
bungholemcgee 11
make combustible lemons and burn her house down
X8_SUPERIOR_8X 6
How was TODAY your birthday, where you went out partying, but your mom said how fun LAST NIGHT was?
maty172 14
What is with everyone and sueing? Every fml where something happens its like sue, sue! Seriously people you don't have to sue over every little thing. She should pay you back cause she's a crazy bitch but don't sue, it's pathetic.
CptHeinz 13
I dont think she will be reasonable
Hattering 11
It sounds like it's time to invest in a new girlfriend.
sammyjo06 14
Obviously she's crazy, but....Am I the only one who wondered why OP was out partying all day on his birthday without his gf? Sounds like there were other issues...
CptHeinz 13
You dont have to Take your gf with you everytime you know
burristhethird 16
Kick the bitches ass!! Even if it was real I know that bitch would be dead if she did that to me!!!
scubanick 10
Bunny boiler! Eject eject!