Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm a gay, black man who moved to a racist, mainly white, homophobic town for work. I've already had the cops called on me twice, and a group of teens yelled the f-slur at me unprompted. When I asked my boss if I could swap, he threatened to fire me. This is gonna be a long 6 months. FML
Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML
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Top comments
random2212 16
Wow that's terrible. Hopefully you can explain.
Klima_fml 29
A warm welcome, doesn't get too much better than that ;)
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Comments (118)
Sparx1_1 16
1: it's very unlikely that anyone noticed or bothered to read the sign 2: it's equally likely that the neighbor who did this has done it before and the neighbors (if any) who might have noticed know it was not you. Just take own the sign and get on with your day. If it ever comes up just tell the person that some asshole put it up the day you moved in.
cr500guy 11
I think dicksplash is my new favorite word. Sorry about what happened
disbatch 14
or cockbag
kiaora_fml 11
Play some Snoop Dogg or another well known African American singer or artist, might help dispel the rumor?
Death_of_all 14
Yeah, but then they'll just think he's the type of person who says "I can't be racist, I like black music!" or "I can't be racist, I have black friends!" and I don't think OP wants people to think that either.
apineapple 40
Are jew kidding me?
TaleenSalman 11
This reminds me of something but I don't know what it is
gabby9982 11
that's horrible! I've had something similar done to me
jakeiw732 5
you need to bring watermelon and coolaid and chicken to all your black neighbors now so they know your not racist!
jezka374 15
Because in situations like that grammar is important... Terrible of that person, though... Hope you can make amends!
ModernaParker 5
I only like this post because they used the word dicksplash. lol. #newfavoriteword
mkymouse90 17
At least you not black or a Jew... Well you might be that would mean the joke on them...